A Treacherous Sunset
by russiasushi
Summary: Izaya finally looked up at him. "What are you planning, hm, Shizu-chan?" he asked. Shizuo did not look at him and continued to run. "I told you." He said. "I'm the only one who's allowed to kill you, fleabag." He said. "Now shut the fuck up. I'm taking you to Shinra's." (gonna be rated M later)
1. Chapter 1

Joining in on the fun…!

"Oyah, oyah…" muttered Orihara Izaya to himself, glancing down from the top of a building at the street below. "Hm, hm, what have we here?" he smirked.

His eyes were fixed on a certain couple down on the sidewalk. From a distance, they may have looked normal. But if one looked closer, as Izaya was, they would see a tall man with bleached hair and a bartender outfit, adjusting his sunglasses – and a foreigner woman, blonde and serious-looking. Izaya shook his head, annoyed for some reason. It was Heiwajima Shizuo and Vorona.

Izaya took out a pair of pocket-size binoculars from his coat pocket and zoomed in on the two. "Hm…" he hummed to himself. "Is this a date? Has our monstrous brute succeeded in getting himself a girlfriend?"

Shizuo was saying something to the young woman, handing her a can from a vending machine and saying something, smiling a little. Vorona, stoic as usual dipped her head and said something back, making Shizuo laugh a little and shake his head.

His smirk widening, Izaya lowered his binoculars. "Ne, I hope you don't mind me joining in on the fun, now _do_ you, Shizu- _chan_."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Shizuo glanced at the woman walking next to him and took a drag from his cigarette. "So, uh…" he said. "Where do you wanna go? You said you wanted me to show you around Ikebukuro, right?"

"Affirmative." Vorona said emotionlessly. "That is what I had said." She looked up at him. "Where are the best places in Ikebukuro?"

He scratched his head. "Well, there're all those anime places, but those two from Kadota's group would know better…" he thought a loud. "There're lots of places to eat – but somehow I always end up going to Russia Sushi so…" then he glanced up, a thought hitting him. "Hey, you ever been to-"

A flower sailing by his cheek cut him off and he turned around with a growl. Who he saw smirking at him with a bouquet there made him even angrier. With an enraged roar, Shizuo ripped a stop sign from the street and began to whirl it around above his head. " _GET! THE! FUCK! OUT! OF! IKEBUKURO! YOU! GODDAMNED! FLEABAG!_ " Vorona looked up at Shizuo, her eyes a bit wider than usual and he glanced back at her out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, Vorona, I'll be back in a while." He managed to say in a tone that did not sound like he was going to kill someone (or if he was going to kill someone, he'd do it gently). He turned back to the smirking Izaya. " _Izaya-ku-un!_ " he growled.

Passerby inched back and Izaya shook his head. "Oyah, oyah, whatever have I done?" he asked with a laugh in his voice. "Have I interrupted your lovely date, Shizu-chan?" In answer, the sign was flung at him and as he playfully dodged. Izaya began to laugh. "Oh you should see your face right now!" he said, flicking his knife out, setting the flowers down on the curb. "It's amazing how angry you get just from _seeing_ me!" He turned on his heel, his coat flaring out around him. "Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan!"

"You're not getting away, fleabag!" yelled Shizuo, running after him, clearing the crowd with a leap off someone's car.

Vorona followed. (Did she think that this was just a very… _Alternative_ tour of Ikebukuro?)

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

" _BUKKOROSU!_ "

"Death threats even though you'll never catch up to me?" a laugh. "Ohh, there goes another vending machine…!"

" _JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY_!"

"Uwaah! That was a whole _car_ just now!"

" _GET THE HELL OUTTA IKEBUKURO, IZAYA!_ "

"Oh goodness me! Was that expensive? I hope they don't make you pay for that…!"

" _I'LL STICK THIS POLE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE EATING A ROAD SIGN IN A FEW SECONDS_!"

"Mmm, kinky…!"

" _RAAAGH!_ "

"Ooh, you're just going back to your native protozoan language now aren't you?"

" _FUCK YOU_!"

"Can't think of anything more creative, Shizu-chan?" Izaya was enjoying himself. He was enjoying himself immensely. "Are you sure you should be talking like this in front of a lady?"

Shizuo glanced at Vorona. "You don't mind, right?" he asked.

Vorona shook her head, running alongside him. "Negative. I am learning many new words and expressions that I had not seen in my Japanese textbooks. Please continue."

Izaya stopped on an overhang of a large building and looked down. "Oh dear, Shizu-chan, have I completely ruined your date with Vorona-chan? That's her name, isn't it."

Shizuo roared something unintelligible and threw a vending machine. Vorona looked blankly up at Izaya. "Negative. The outing has been very educational. I refute the statement 'this is a date', however. Shizuo-senpai and I do not have that sort of relationship. Also – affirmative. I am called Vorona."

"Ooh!" trilled Izaya avoiding the huge projectile. "Did you hear that, Shizu-chan? You've been friendzoned!" he jumped down from the awning and continued to run.

Shizuo was close behind him. " _I'M GONNA KILL YOU! THIS WASN'T A DATE! BUT YOU'RE COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY EITHER WAY!_ "

"Big words you're using there, Shizu-chan! I hope you know what they all mean!"

" _BUKKOROSHITEYARU_!"

That was when Shizuo was due to be hit with a truck. But the truck was a few seconds late.

And that was also the moment Orihara Izaya knew he fucked up.

The first thing he saw was Shizuo pulling Vorona out of the way of the truck, looping his arm around her waist – and Izaya almost blinked in surprise at the change from brutal strength to gentle precision. Izaya stepped forward, his eyes fixed on Shizuo who had, for the first time, looked _away_ from him when they were playing cat and mouse. The first time he had stopped the chase and turned away completely.

For some reason that hit Izaya like a blow. It had hit him harder than Shizuo's arm around the young Russian woman's waist, more than his eyes fixed on her and not – _him_ (but he didn't know why those two things hit him _that_ hard).

And something that hit him even _harder_ was the truck.


	2. Chapter 2

The only one allowed to kill him.

Izaya woke up in agony. His left arm was full of the same dull throbbing pain as his side – and his head hurt like a bitch. He blinked and the ceiling came into focus.

He shifted on the pillows and internally groaned. He was in the hospital. Well, shit. Just the perfect place where his enemies would be able to find him and then kill him.

The door opened and he tensed, but it was just a nurse. "Oh hello there, Orihara-san!" she chirped. "You're awake!"

He tried to smile. "Indeed I am. How long have I been here?"

"About a day."

As the nurse changed his IV, she chattered away. "You look much better than yesterday – I must say you recover rather quickly, don't you, Orihara-san." She shook her head. "When your friend carried you in here all covered in blood, he was so worried! He hasn't left the waiting area for an entire day now! Really, what a man!" her smile faltered and she finished with a humorless laugh. "Haha. What a man." She said sourly.

Izaya smiled at her. "Really? May I ask what friend this is?"

"He never stated his name." she said. "I can show him in now if you want!" her smile was slightly strained. Shit. That wasn't good. Who could that 'friend' be? Not giving him time to answer she opened the door her voice shaking a little as she called out. "A-ano… You can come in no-"

Not giving her a chance to answer the door was kicked open and heavy steps resounded across the room. The nurse scurried out of the room. There was a loud thudding crash and Izaya was taken by surprise so badly he almost gaped.

Standing there, in full rumpled, bartender-outfitted glory, a vending machine under his arm – was Heiwajima Shizuo. "Yo." He said.

Izaya moved his mouth, unable to say anything. "Wha- I mean- The fu- _Shizu-chan?!_ "

Shizuo's eyebrow twitched. "I _said_ 'yo'." He growled.

Izaya regained his composure. "So I guess you're going to kill me now, ne, Shizu-chan?" he smirked. He needed to find a weapon, quick. Preferably a bomb. But who the hell would have a bomb? Sure as hell not him. He couldn't stall and bluff forever – Shizuo was not as idiotic as he looked.

Shrugging, Shizuo turned his broad back to Izaya, lighting a cigarette, despite the many 'no smoking' signs. "Fuck off, flea." He said

"But that really was rather surprising, Shizu-chan. You _carried_ me here? To the hospital?" he laughed weakly, the pain in his side cutting him off early. "I'd've thought that my dead body would wash up somewhere, unidentifiable."

"Oi, fuckhead, I saved your life." Shizuo muttered. "Don't make me regret it." He turned around to face Izaya. "I'm not like you, fleabag. I'm not gonna finish a man when he's down."

Izaya put a hand to his mouth in mock surprise. "Don't tell me you hired someone else to do it for you?" he said. "I'd never have thought."

"Hell no. Don't you get it?" Shizuo walked towards Izaya's bed and looked down at him through his sunglasses, an enigmatic look in his eyes. " _I'm_ gonna be the one to kill you. No-one else."

Izaya raised an eyebrow, then looked at the vending machine behind Shizuo, seeing that something was written on it in permanent marker. "Get better so I can kill you." He read out loud.

Shizuo avoided his eyes. "I was bored." He offered, clearing his throat.

"How perfectly _sweet_ of you!" Izaya began to laugh. "I need Namie-san to pick this up so I can have it in my office as a token of your undying lo-"

"Shut up."

"E-eh? You don't like tha-"

"I said, shut up." Shizuo said urgently, covering Izaya's mouth. "Hear that?" he asked. "That doesn't sound like a doctor, does it?"

Izaya listened and could faintly hear the tramping of many feet and shouts. They were getting closer. Fuck. What was he going to _do_? Izaya tried to concoct a plan, taking the IV out of his arm and sitting up twisting and grabbing his clothes and his phones, then he gasped in pain as his side felt as if it was being engulfed in flames. "Ah, _fuck_." He shut his eyes, trying to block the pain out. It wasn't working.

Then he felt himself being lifted up. He opened his eyes, the pain dissipating. Heiwajima Shizuo had lifted him like a bloody _princess_. This was surreal. At that moment, however, Izaya had no time to start expressing his outrage, because the door was kicked violently open and men with machine guns burst into the room.

"There he is! Get him!"

Shizuo's hold on Izaya tightened slightly, not enough for it to hurt – and he ran at the open window. There were shots and then Shizuo was on the windowsill, then he was flying through the air, then he was falling down, not letting go of a dumbfounded Izaya. He hit the ground running and Izaya finally looked up at him. "What are you planning, hm, Shizu-chan?" he asked.

Shizuo did not look at him and continued to run. "I told you." He said. "I'm the only one who's allowed to kill you, fleabag." He said. "Now shut the fuck up. I'm taking you to Shinra's."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Izaya wasn't sure when exactly eh had blacked out. He only knew that he had slightly relaxed in Shizuo's arms and allowed himself to be carried to the eccentric doctor's apartment. He came to right about when Shizuo had kicked at the door gently (instead of knocking, since his hands were full with Izaya). The door was opened by Celty.

 _Ah, hello there, Shizuo – come in._ She typed. _Is your friend hurt? I'll call Shinra._

Shizuo grunted and walked in, gently laying Izaya down onto the couch. "Well hello there, Celty-san." Izaya gritted through his teeth.

Celty almost dropped her phone. _Whajjhgifdnviup! #?_ The typo was expanding with her surprise and confusion. _Izaya?!_ she finally managed. She turned between the bored-looking Shizuo and the smirking Izaya. _What on earth is going on?!_

At that moment Kishitani Shinra shuffled in, yawning. "What's up Celty?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. "How-" he stopped, looking between Shizuo and Izaya. " _Ehhhh_!?" he screamed. "What's going on?! Is the world ending?! Celty, before we all die, I just want to say that I will love you forever-"

 _Calm down Shinra. Izaya's hurt. That's the most important thing right now, I think._

Shizuo nodded. "Yeah. Got hit by a truck when he was being a fucking nuisance. Carried him to the hospital. Had to escape the hospital 'cause this fuckin' guy makes enemies wherever he goes, 'cause he's an asshole."

Izaya stuck his tongue out. "Takes one to know one, Shizu-chan!"

"Oi, quit calling me that!"

"Why don't you like it? I think it sounds _cute_ , Shizu- _chan_."

"Fucking asshole."

"That's not as cute of a nickname…" he pouted.

"It wasn't meant to be cute, you fleabag bastard."

Shinra and Celty watched the back and forth with deepening confusion. Finally, Shinra frowned. "I don't know what's going on, but I'll look at you." He said to Izaya.

Shizuo lit a cigarette and looked away when Izaya's shirt was taken off with a lot of wincing and a lot of tutting from Shinra. Celty looked at him. _What's going on? Or is that a secret?_

Shizuo shrugged. "Not a secret. Just… Honestly, I dunno why I did it at first. But I figured maybe it's because…" he blew out a strand of smoke. "No-one but _me_ is allowed to kill him."

If Celty had a face, she would've raised an eyebrow. _This Izaya is your long-time mortal enemy, but suddenly you're saving him from trucks and hitmen? And you have no idea why. Curious, no?_

Shizuo shrugged again. "I dunno. I just did it 'cause I couldn't stomach the idea of anyone killing him." He nodded, as if to convince himself. "Yeah. That's it." He looked at Celty. "…Y'know. I said I was gonna kill him, but I can't hit a man when he's down, but I can't let anyone else beat me to killing him – so I kinda saved him." He grinned, realizing. "He _owes_ me now. I've saved his life _twice_! Hah, take _that_ , fucker."

Celty shivered at the look in Shizuo's eyes. _That makes more sense. But either way, that's pretty nice of you._

Shizuo was about to refute the statement, especially since it was pertaining to his nemesis, but Shinra interrupted. "All done!" Shinra trilled. He turned to Izaya with a beaming smile. "You have a concussion, a broken arm and two broken ribs. You got off pretty lucky – especially since you were hit by a truck."

Shizuo stepped forward. "Great." He said. "I'll come back to kill you when you're feeling better." He said. "See ya."

Shinra's eyes widened as he focused on Shizuo. "Hey, wait a-" Celty looked at him and looked as surprised as a helmet on a headless body could.

Izaya's eyes narrowed as he noticed as well. "Shizu-chan."

"What?" Shizuo didn't turn around.

"You're bleeding, you know." He said, as if it was the punchline of a joke.

"Nah."

"You a-are." He sang.

"Shut up."

"You didn't… Get _shot_ rescuing me, now _did_ you?" He sounded _amused_.

"Fuck off." Shizuo flipped the information broker off. "Thanks, Celty, Shinra. I'll pay… You… For thi…s" Suddenly words were difficult to force out of his mouth and the room tilted. Yeah, there was blood soaking through his jacket and a dull pain in his shoulder. But _fuck,_ he wasn't just gonna admit that he got _shot_ for the _fleabag's_ sake. Shit. He had lost a lot of blood. This was going to be difficult. He took a few staggering steps towards the entrance. "Oi… Izaya… I got you out of there… 'Cause the idea of anyone else killing you pissed me off. If you get any weird ideas… …I'm gonna… Kill… You…" and that was when things went black – and he passed out before he even hit the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Love at first sight?

Shizuo woke up on the couch in Celty and Shinra's apartment. He opened his eyes and immediately closed them again, a vein throbbing in his head. "Oi, your face is not the first thing I wanna see after I wake up, you fucking fleabag."

Izaya was sitting next to him on the couch, watching him intently with an enigmatic smirk on his face. "Most people would find me quite attractive, you know." He teased.

"Well, most people have their heads up their own asses so that's no indication, fuckhead…" Shizuo muttered, turning away. "…Fuck off."

"Ne… Shizu-chan?" the information broker sounded curious, his mocking tone gone. "Have you gone insane?"

Shizuo cracked open an eye and glared at Izaya. "I'm _gonna_ go fuckin' insane and start tearing shit apart if you don't shut the hell up." He said through his teeth.

"You're being really weird."

"Well, _you're_ being a fucking nuisance."

"Why'd you save me? Not once, but _twice_ and get even get shot?"

"I fucking _told_ you asshole, I'm not gonna repeat myself." Shizuo sat up and glared at Izaya with both eyes.

Izaya smirked. "Is that the only reason? Your cute little code of honor and determination to kill me? You also offered to pay for my treatment, just now, didn't you?"

Actually, that was a fair point. Why _did_ he do that? He had no idea. Shizuo closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. "You are pissing me off so much right now." he said through gritted teeth. "If you don't stop smirking like that I might go back on my words, fleabag."

"Smirking like wha-at?"

"Like fucking _that_." Shizuo growled.

There was a silence which Shizuo welcomed greatly.

Then Izaya began to talk again.

"Say, when did you start hating me, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo opened his eyes and looked at Izaya. "Since the moment I first saw you. When you first opened your mouth and started to fucking _talk_. When you started smirking – I _knew_. That was the moment, I decided, I was gonna fucking kILL YOU – SO SH _UT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME REST_!"

Izaya smiled widely. "Sure."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Shizuo woke up a while later and stood up, the ache in his shoulder seeming to have subsided. Shinra had bandaged him up – and Shizuo was, well, Shizuo. He healed crazy quick and had an insanely high pain tolerance.

On the other end of the couch lay a peacefully breathing information broker. Shizuo stared at him for a moment. The slender man looked so… _Defenseless_ and Shizuo almost took a step back. What the hell _was_ this? What was _wrong_ with this guy?! What the hell was wrong with _Shizuo,_ for that matter? He wasn't thinking like himself, nor acting like himself. Hell, he wasn't _being_ himself.

He scratched the back of his neck and buttoned his shirt back up. Stealing another glance at the sleeping Izaya, Shizuo rolled his eyes and threw the man's trademark fur-lined coat over him. It wasn't anything weird. It was just that if Shizuo wanted Izaya to get better (so that he could kill him) he had to help speed up his recovery. Yeah. If the guy got a _cold_ on top of all those injuries, that would be annoying. That was it. That was _it_ damn it!

Quickly throwing his vest on and adjusting his sunglasses Shizuo walked towards the door. Just as he was about to leave, Celty came out of the adjoining room. She held up her phone. _Shizuo, can I talk to you for a moment?_

He nodded. "Yeah, sure." He looked at the sleeping Izaya. "Uh, if we talk here we might wake him up." He said. "…Not that I give a shit whether he gets adequate sleep after his injuries." He added, scratching the back of his head. "But uh… It would be a pain if he woke up."

Celty nodded her hea- uh, helmet. _Fine. Let's do that._

They stepped outside and Shizuo sat down on the stairs, lighting a cigarette. "What's up?" he asked.

 _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?!_

The phone shoved at his face and the huge capital letters made Shizuo blink. "Why?" he asked. "Didn't I explain?"

Celty looked as if she was taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. _Sorry about that._ She typed. _But just now, when you were out, Izaya payed for your treatment and then feLL ASLEEP RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOU ON THE COUCH!_

Shizuo's eyes widened. "What the hell?"

 _I know, right?_

He shrugged. "I dunno. The only thing I can think of is him having the same thoughts as myself. But that seems so unlike him that…" Shizuo stopped. "Oh. Never mind." He said. "I get it now. He's paying back the debt that he owes me for saving his sorry ass. Twice."

 _…_ _Oh. Is that it, though? Izaya doesn't exactly seem like… The honorable type, you know?_

Shizuo shrugged again.

 _Can I ask you a question?_ Celty typed.

"Sure. Go for it." He said, blowing out a puff of smoke.

 _When did you and Izaya meet?_

"High school. Shinra… 'Introduced' us."

 _You said you hated him from the first time you saw him… How's that?_

"Well, I first saw him, all the blood just rushed to my head. I could barely _breathe_ and my knees felt weak. And then he smirked, and all this adrenalin and stuff rushed through me and I was like… I'd never felt that before. It was _so_ intense and so weird. I've hated lots of people in my life but not like _that_. It's like, I can never stop thinking about him – I hate him _that_ much." He shook his head. "And it just really pisses me off, 'cause that happens _every_ bloody time I see him. My heart just starts… _Pounding_ and I can't think straight. And… He's one hell of an opponent. Like, there's guys who are insanely weak, then there're guys who cheat and show up with machine guns – but he's the one guy who's fought me and didn't lose. And that kinda pisses me off. And he's… Not even scared of me. A lot of guys are. They come up to me all confident and strutting, showing off their muscles – but when they hear my name, they just run. …He's not like that. And I kinda hate that he's so bloody nonchalant. But like… I dunno." He looked at Celty whose shoulders were convulsing. "You okay?"

 _Yes… I'm fine._ Her shoulders shook again. _Keep talking, please._

Shizuo rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was about to call that guy _amazing_ but he's the _fleabag_. What the hell am I even saying. Like it's kinda refreshing that he's not scared of me, but hell he's just _annoying_." he laughed a little. "…What am I even saying. I've never actually ever talked to someone about this…"

 _Oh my god. I can't_ believe _it!_

"What?"

 _It was love at first sight!?_

" _Hu-uh_?!" a vein throbbed in the side of Shizuo's head.

 _Hate. Hate. I meant hate. Dumb autocorrect._

"…Those two words aren't even close to being spelled the same."

 _Oh goodness! Look at the time! You should probably be going home right about now! Ah! And I almost forgot! I have to… Go shopping! Ha-ha! Have a good night!_ And Celty's apartment door shut in his face.

"Uh, see ya." He said, shaking his head. He put his hands in his pockets and slowly ambled down the stairs. "What the hell's with that?"

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Izaya cracked open an eyelid as he felt the blond man come to and get up from his sitting sleeping position on the far side of the couch. He resisted the urge to laugh as Shizuo's eyes widened and he took a step back at the sight of him 'sleeping' there. But after buttoning his shirt on and casting a sideways glance at Izaya – Shizuo did something so unexpected that Izaya almost laughed.

Shizuo had covered Izaya with his coat. This was getting more and more interesting by the moment.

He heard Celty walk in from an adjacent room and type something to Shizuo.

"Yeah, sure." Replied Shizuo, looking at the 'sleeping' Izaya. "Uh, if we talk here we might wake him up." He said. "Not that I give a shit whether he gets adequate sleep after his injuries – but uh… It would be a pain if he woke up."

As soon as he heard the door close and the two step out onto the landing, Izaya was halfway across the room and then pressing his ear to the door. "Why? Didn't I explain?" he heard Shizuo say. Celty was probably typing again and Izaya realized how truly inconvenient it was to have a mute dullahan speaking. He could only hear half of the conversation! That was annoying. "What the hell?" he heard Shizuo ask. Another pause during which it was probably Celty typing again. Then it was Shizuo again. "I dunno. The only thing I can think of is him having the same thoughts as myself. But that seems so unlike him that…" Shizuo stopped. "Oh. Never mind." He said. "I get it now. He's paying back the debt that he owes me for saving his sorry ass. Twice."

Izaya almost laughed out loud at how wrong the ex-bartender was. He just wanted to see what Shizuo was playing at. He wanted to know the reason why Shizuo wasn't trying to kill him just like _that_. "Sure, go for it." He could hear Shizuo say. Celty had probably asked him a question again. "High school. Shinra… 'Introduced' us." He was talking about their first meeting, Izaya realized. This should be interesting.

"Well, I first saw him, all the blood just rushed to my head. I could barely _breathe_ and my knees felt weak. And then he smirked, and all this adrenalin and stuff rushed through me and I was like… I'd never felt that before. It was _so_ intense and so weird. I've hated lots of people in my life but not like _that_. It's like, I can never stop thinking about him – I hate him that much. And it just really pisses me off, 'cause that happens _every_ bloody time I see him. My heart just starts… _Pounding_ and I can't think straight. And… He's one hell of an opponent. Like, there's guys who are insanely weak, then there're guys who cheat and show up with machine guns – but he's the one guy who's fought me and didn't lose. And that kinda pisses me off. And he's… Not even scared of me. A lot of guys are. They come up to me all confident and strutting, showing off their muscles – but when they hear my name, they just run. …He's not like that. And I kinda hate that he's so bloody nonchalant. But like…" a pause "You okay?" There was another slight pause. "I was about to call that guy _amazing_ but he's the _fleabag_. What the hell am I even saying. Like it's kinda refreshing that he's not scared of me, but hell he's just _annoying_." he laughed a little. "…What am I even saying. I've never actually ever talked to someone about this…"

Izaya's eyes widened and he stuffed a fist in his mouth so that he would not scream with laughter then and there. How could this guy not realize what he was saying?! He _had_ to realize what he sounded like. Izaya couldn't hold in a slight snort. He pinched himself to stop himself from giving himself away with the giggles threatening to overcome him.

He didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but when Celty sharply opened the door, he quickly tried to escape – however his injuries prevented him from going too far.

Celty stared down at the information broker sprawled on her carpet in the entryway, sobbing with laughter and the pain that it caused him. She crouched down and waved her phone in his face. _You were awake this entire time, weren't you?_

"Yep!"

 _You were listening at the door, weren't you?_

Izaya winced, as laughter didn't do much for his two broken ribs. "Yep!"

 _You realize what this means, don't you?_

"…Yep."

 _Then stop 'yepping' and go sit down on the couch. Shizuo is my friend – and I need to have a talk with you._

"Ye- I mean, all right."


	4. Chapter 4

Distracted not by Izaya.

A few days after the incident with Izaya, Shizuo felt somehow uneasy. He couldn't understand, himself, why he was uneasy, but as always he blamed it on the flea. He bought a small bottle of milk from a small convenience store and walked slowly down the street, drinking it and aimlessly watching the darkening sky. "Fuck you, Izaya." He said to no-one in particular. It made him feel only a little better.

"That's not very nice, is it, Shizu-chan?" There was a soft laugh that Shizuo was all too familiar with.

Shizuo whipped around and ripped a mailbox from the sidewalk reflexively. Then he stopped and gently set it down, making sure it didn't fall over. "Fuck you." He growled. "I can't even throw shit at you now!" he shook his head, chugged the rest of his milk and lit a cigarette, pointedly ignoring the informant who was not deterred – skipping closer and closer with that infernal smirk of his on his face. "Ah, just go back to Shinjuku and cause trouble _there_!" he sighed, stalking away.

Izaya followed him, skipping along and humming in a carefree manner, all techniques that pissed Shizuo off. "You don't miss me?" he teased.

"Fuck no."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Go die."

"But you were thinking of me just now, weren't you?"

"Yeah, thinking of how I'd _kill_ you when you get better." Shizuo picked up his pace. Then he stopped. "Speaking of which…" he didn't look at Izaya and cleared his throat, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Shouldn't you be, uh… Resting now? You probably shouldn't be _skipping_ around Ikebukuro with broken ribs, broken arm and a _concussion_."

Izaya smirked, hopping lightly up onto the guard rail. "Are you worried about me?"

"H- _hell_ no." yelled Shizuo. "I told you! If you make yourself worse, I'll have to wait longer to kill you! Fleabag bastard" he cleared his throat again.

"Cute." Said Izaya sourly. He did a pirouette on the railing, then winced, a hand flying to his ribs, unbalancing him even further. As he toppled backwards, Shizuo lunged forward and caught him, one arm under his legs, the other supporting his back, carefully avoiding his ribs. When he realized what he was doing, he froze, unsure of what to do next. Izaya smirked and looked for a long time into Shizuo's wide eyes. "Thanks, Shizu-chan. How kind of you…" he stretched his words out.

Shizuo's face heated up and he quickly set Izaya down, turning his back. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck again. "Don't be dumb, Izaya. Go home and rest. Otherwise there'll be more and more time I'll have to wait to kill you."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

 _He was walking down the street and someone was walking next to him. It was somewhere in the city – but not Ikebukuro – and it was strangely quiet. It was night time._

 _Shizuo looked down at the person he was walking with, but for some reason didn't see his face, only slightly messy black hair and a fur-lined coat. Where had he seen that coat before? He couldn't remember. Right now, walking with this person, he felt weirdly… Happy._

 _"_ _It's late, we should be heading back." He heard himself say._

 _"_ _Yeah." The person said, smiling slightly. "We both have work to do tomorrow."_

 _They took the train into Shinjuku for some reason, and the person leaned his hand on Shizuo's shoulder when they sat next to each other on the deserted train. Their hands were entwined. Shizuo felt himself smile._

 _They got off the train and started to talk and Shizuo was surprised at how_ smart _this guy was. The person wrapped his slim arm around Shizuo's waist and stuck hi hand into Shizuo's pocket. With a roguish grin, he pulled out a few keys on a ring and stuck them into a door that Shizuo didn't realize he was even in front of. He was so concentrated on this guy (whoever he was) that he couldn't pay attention to his surroundings._

 _They sat across from each other at a table in the kitchen, eating dinner, bantering casually. When he managed to get a particularly good comeback in, the person gently kicked his leg under the table._

 _"_ _Do you want to come to bed or are you going to pull an all-nighter_ again _?" he heard himself ask, wryly. "You know it's not good for you."_

 _"_ _Magic word?" asked the person playfully._

 _Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Please."_

 _"_ _Yep!" and the smaller guy danced into the room, pulling Shizuo by his sleeve. "Although…" he said with mock thoughtfulness, pushing Shizuo down onto the bed and leaning over top of him with a smirk. "…I don't think either of us will be getting much sleep tonight."_

 _Feeling himself chuckle and roll his eyes again (he seemed to do that a lot with this guy), Shizuo shifted slightly, putting his sunglasses on the bedside table. "Oh you."_

 _"_ _Me what?" asked the guy, with an innocent tone but an anything-but-innocent smirk. He leaned closer with a hum, beginning to unbutton Shizuo's shirt._

 _Shizuo gently pushed the bangs off the other man's face, meeting his red eyes and leaning up to kiss him._

 _"…_ Only _you, Izaya."_

Shizuo woke up with a yell, his heart pounding. "…That was…" he panted. "One _hell_ of a nightmare!" he fell back onto the pillows. "Oh god… That was…" he pushed his hair off his forehead. "…That was _terrifying_." He nodded to himself, shuddering. "Fucking terrifying."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

"Shizuo?"

"…"

"Shizu-uo?"

"…"

" _Shizuo_."

"…Uh, excuse me. Sorry, I was just thinking. What's happening?"

Tom rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up. "I _said_ this is the last one for today." he gestured over to an apartment building. "What's up with you? You've been zoning out a lot, today with that _look_ on your face."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night…" Shizuo shivered than brushed his hair back from his face and adjusted the cuffs of his shirt. "…Sorry, Tom-san. I was just thinking. I'll do my best from now on." he said with a slight bow.

Vorona eyed him. "I believe I am correct in assuming that your recent distraction has something to do with Orihara Izaya."

With a laugh, Tom shook his head and then spoke in a lowered voice. "First of all, Vorona-chan, we _do not_ mention _That Person_ in front of Shizuo – and second of all, I was about to say that I think it's because he's in love."

"Hell freakin' no!" Shizuo's head shot up and he looked at Tom with wild eyes. "I am _not_ in love with the fleabag!" Tom tried to stifle a laugh and Vorona quietly assessed him. Just as Tom was about to say something reassuring, there was a very familiar-sounding laugh and the tapping of light footsteps could be heard on the guard rail. Shizuo turned around quickly. _Shit._ "Izaya." he growled.

Izaya did a pirouette and jumped off the railing, landing on the sidewalk between Shizuo and the two others. "Well hel-lo there, Shizu-chan!" he almost sang. "What was that just now? Who are you so… _Vehemently_ denying being in love with?"

Shizuo turned back, not looking at Izaya. "Oi, don't walk on the railings, you'll fall off, damn it." he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "If you get even more injuries it'll take longer until I can finally kill you."

Laughing again, Izaya shook his head. "And here I thought you were worried about me, Shizu-chan!"

"Pssh. Like hell I am."

Tom crossed himself. Either the world was coming to an end, or Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo were having a conversation without trying to kill each other – right in front of him. Vorona squinted. "Are they not mortal enemies? I am having problems understanding this."

He shook his head. "You and me both, Vorona-chan. You and me both."

Meanwhile, Shizuo had crossed his arms and was still refusing to look at Izaya. "Aw, shut up. Of course I'm not worried about you." he said quickly. "Who would be worried about an asshole flea like you, huh?"

Izaya began to smirk. "Oh who indeed, Shizu-chan." he said quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"Well…. …Good!" he began to walk quickly away. "Get better quick so I can kill you soon, fleabag." he said.

"How's Vorona-chan doing?" he asked.

"The hell do I know? Ask _her_!" Shizuo retorted. "The fuck kind of question is that?"

"Ju-ust curious. How are you feeling after she friendzoned you on your little date?"

"That wasn't a date!"

"Could've fooled me!"

"Did anyone tell you that you were a fucking pain in the ass? Yeah? 'Cause they were right."

"Good comeback, for a protozoan."

"Fleabag, you're lucky your ribs are already broken 'cause if they weren't I'd break 'em for you! With a vending machine."

"Oh, would you? By the way…" Izaya laughed. "…I hope you know I've saved that vending machine and it's sitting in my office…" he said with an even wider smirk. "It makes me feel better when I'm down…"

Shizuo whipped around, coming face-to-face with Izaya. "You _wha_ -?!" Then he blinked at the proximity and avoided Izaya's gaze but didn't move, not wanting to be the first to step back. "Oi, don't say dumb stuff, fleabag. Why the hell're you showing up in Ikebukuro again, anyway? Fuck off, will ya?" he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"…But I wanted to see you, Shizu-chan."

The information broker had sounded so sincere that for a second Shizuo forgot himself and looked at him with wide eyes. "W-what the hell kind of a thing are you saying…" he cleared his throat – and Izaya could've sworn that the debt collector's cheeks had colored a little.

"I said I wanted to see you, didn't I?" Izaya coyly raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying his act. "Do you want me to say it again? How mean… Making me repeat myself when I'm saying such a thing." He laughed.

"Wh-what the fu… I mean… Like, what even… What the hell's wrong with you?!" stuttered Shizuo. "Stop _doing_ that!"

Izaya leaned in with a smirk. "Doing what?" he sang.

" _That!_ " Shizuo growled. "The whole smirk thing! And saying things that don't make sense! It makes me want to punch you!"

Tom watched the exchange with widening eyes, terror building up inside him. _The two most dangerous men in Ikebukuro – one of them is…_ Blushing _?! And the other one is_ flirting _with him?!_ He looked at Vorona. "Are you _seeing_ this?!" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

Vorona nodded and then shook her head. "Affirmative. I am seeing the same thing you are seeing. …However, this may very well be a very advanced sort of hologram. I have read about those. I hypothesize that this kind of technology is still very experimental."

"Fuck, _that'd_ make more sense than this…" Tom said, covering his face, but peeking through cracks between his fingers at Izaya and Shizuo.

Izaya was smirking. " _Punch_ me? Are you sure that's what you want to do to me?" he said suggestively.

Shizuo seriously considered the question, scratching the back of his neck thoughtfully. "Well, I could throw a trash can at you, I could kick you, I could spear you with a sign-"

Laughing, Izaya leaned in. "Are you sure that's what you want to spear me with, Shizu-chan?" he said in a husky voice, lowering his eyelashes coyly.

Shizuo made the mistake of looking into Izaya's eyes. "Well… I uh- That is uhh- I could use a guard-rail-" Shizuo managed, then cut himself off, realizing the implications of Izaya's constant innuendos. He glared at Izaya. "Stop _doing_ that, flea! I can't fucking think 'cause you're messing with my head! Just fuck off, get better, and come back so I can kill you!" he growled, a vein throbbing in his forehead.

Izaya got even closer and Shizuo turned his face away. "Am I messing with your head, Shizu-chan?" he hummed. "Is there something _else_ that I might be messing with too?"

"F-fuck off." Said Shizuo, voice slightly strangled, avoiding the information broker's eyes. "…I swear, I'm gonna kill you."

With a low laugh, Izaya's smirk widened. Shizuo could feel the other man's warm breath on his collarbone – he was standing _that_ close. "…But I'm injured, Shizu-chan." He purred. "You couldn't hurt me now, could you?"

Tom covered his face with his hands and Vorona watched with a curious look in her wide blue eyes. "…It's the apocalypse… I just wanna say goodbye to my mother before aliens start invading…" he groaned, clutching at his head and rocking back and forth.

Vorona looked up at the sky. "Current chance of alien invasion, zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent." She said. "This may be a hallucination caused from lack of proper hydration and summer heat."

Shizuo's breathing was uneven and the redness of his face was obvious now. "…What the hell're you doing… Oi… Izaya…?" He choked out, tilting his head away and not looking Izaya in the eyes.

Izaya's smirking mouth was inches away from Shizuo's jawline. "…Testing a theory…" he whispered, taking Shizuo's sunglasses off him, noticing the stiffening of his jaw and catch in the ex-bartender's breath. "So far… My experiment has been successful…" And then suddenly he was standing on the guard rail nearby, still smirking, staring at Shizuo, holding his sunglasses in his hand. "I think you look more handsome without them!" he grinned. "See you around, Shizu-chan." And then he was gone.

Finally catching his breath, Shizuo blinked, then swallowed. He regained his composure. Then a vein began to throb in the side of his head. " _I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, ORIHARA IZAYA_!" he roared.

Tom's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of his skull and Vorona looked mildly curious. Tom sat down onto the guard rail and took a deep breath. "Well!" he said with manic cheerfulness. "Let's go collect some debts!" he glanced at Shizuo. "…You can take a break for today, Shiz-"

Interrupting him, Shizuo bowed quickly and formally, then ran off. " _THAT FUCKER TOOK MY SUNGLASSES_!"


	5. Chapter 5

You know nothing about BL, you reprobate!

Karisawa Erika was having the time of her life. From the window of Togusa Saburo's van, she had observed the events unfolding from beginning of this story – and the incident that had just happened between Izaya and Shizuo – she had seen it all. "I knew it!" she squealed. "This is almost exactly like something I once read in a nineties BL manga!"

Yumasaki Walker shook his head slowly, then grinned back at her. "What a development this is!" he said. "Ohoho! What a development!"

Kadota Kyohei blinked. "Did I just see that?" he asked Togusa. "I didn't just see that, did I?"

Togusa shrugged. "I dunno. It might've been a hallucination but… If it's any consolation, I saw it too, man." He raked his hair back from his face. "I mean, we might all be on drugs without realizing it…" he said tiredly.

"I don't touch stuff like that." Said Kadota. "Maybe it's some sort of mirage. Like in the desert."

"But we're not in the desert. We're in Ikebukuro."

"I was right all along, Dotachin!" laughed Erika, poking Kadota's shoulder. "I was right! I was right! I was ri-ight!" she laughed. "Take _that,_ unbelievers!"

Walker shook his head in disbelief, laughing a little. "We should follow him, just to make sure…" he said. "And see if there are any more _developments_."

"You _do_ have great ideas, Yumacchi!"

Togusa and Kadota turned around at exactly the same time. " _Absolutely not_." They chorused.

"I just got the door replaced!"

"I still want to live."

Erika and Walker went for the puppy eyes. "Please?" they chorused.

"I just wanna see how he gets his sunglasses back!"

"I want to see how their blossoming love story unfolds!"

Kadota sighed. "I don't. I also don't want to die."

"It's none of our business." Togusa said. "The two most dangerous men in Ikebukuro…" he shuddered. "Broke my van too many times…" he shook his head definitively. "Any romance between those two is going to be a major damage to property – remember that."

Erika's eyes sparkled. "Oh I _know_! With Shizuo's strength, _lots_ of beds are going to be broken!"

Kadota blinked. "…I didn't need to hear that." He blinked again and shook his head. "I really didn't."

Togusa shuddered. "Oh god."

Walker and Erika were now arguing about what kind of character archetypes Shizuo and Izaya would fit into, and what kind of yaoi those two would make. "Shizuo's a tsundere!" Erika was saying. "Look, I could see him blushing from up here and he refuses to admit his feelings, then gets angry!"

"But is he's a tsundere, that would make him the uke! Since he's so strong, that wouldn't make sense!" Walker argued.

"You're wrong – Iza-Iza wouldn't make a good uke at all! His personality is wrong! There's no way he'd be the one with all the high-pitched moans and blushing face. We just had a perfect demonstration of their yaoi dynamic!"

"I get what you're saying but consider Shizuo's strength and Izaya-san's body type! And Shizuo is anything but high-pitched! It would just be-"

"Walker, you better not be one of those people who judge the seme and the uke in a BL relationship by _size,_ now are you? Maybe Shizuo would be on top physically, but Izaya-san would be dominating him completely in every other way. And you _know_ who's louder out of the two of them, just in general. What I'm trying to say is that Iza-Iza would be dominant, but the uke _physically._ And Shizuo would be the one dominated and the seme physically. _Or_ I guess an easier example is that it could turn into some BDSM thing where Shizuo is all tied up and Izaya-san is-"

Togusa whipped around with a growl. "Will you two _keep it down_! Or I swear to god, I'm driving this van off the next cliff I see!"

Despite Erika's comment, 'there are no cliffs in Ikebukuro', they drove in relative silence, until Walker whispered. "I guess you're right about Izaya being on top."

Kadota covered his face. "I thought we agreed _not_ to say anything." He groaned. "I want to just wash my mind with _bleach_ , the stuff you're saying…"

"You know nothing about BL, you reprobate!" retorted Erika.


	6. Chapter 6

Another Nightmare.

Shizuo ran around Ikebukuro for about four hours before exhaustion completely hit and he had to give up and go home. Izaya had seemed to disappear and no matter where Shizuo went – there was no sign of the smirking information broker. He would get him tomorrow though. Definitely. He would make that damned flea give him his sunglasses back. He promised himself that as he staggered into his apartment.

It was only nine o'clock, but he was tired so he dragged himself into the shower and then toppled into bed. Despite his tiredness, however, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He wondered what the hell that annoying fleabag was doing, where he was, what he had done with the sunglasses. And _maybe_ , just a _little_ , wondering why the hell that dumb flea would be running around and causing trouble so soon after his injury. Not that he was _worried_ but it would probably be hurting Izaya like a bitch.

For some reason, he didn't relish that though as much as he thought he would. In this way, somehow, Shizuo fell asleep with Izaya on his mind.

 _He lay on his side, encircling someone slim with his arms. Morning sunlight was filtering through the blinds and it was warm. For some reason, he was not wearing a shirt and neither was the man he was hugging from behind. Shizuo blinked with annoyance at the sunlight in his eyes and tried to shift so that the sun was no longer in his eyes. The slimmer man laughed quietly. "Finally, you stopped snoring." The voice was oddly familiar…_

 _"_ _Oi, I don't snore." He heard himself retort._

 _"_ _How do you know? You don't hear yourself." The man sighed. "I wake up earlier than you so I hear you in all your glory." He complained._

 _"_ _Aw, shut up." Shizuo grumbled. "At least I don't_ laugh _and kick stuff in my sleep."_

 _"_ _Touché."_

 _Shizuo yawned. "Get off my arm. I wanna stretch."_

 _The man rolled over, his black hair spreading across the pillow and Shizuo stretched. The slim, black-haired man also stretched, lazily like a cat, and Shizuo got a perfect view of his toned body and the kiss marks on his body. "You're sta-aring…!" he sang. Bangs covered his face and Shizuo couldn't see it. But he knew that he was very familiar with that face. "Sore?" he asked._

 _"_ _Nah… And I'm allowed to stare." said Shizuo between yawns, trying not to blush and failing. The bed creaked ominously underneath him and he peered off the edge, to see that it was broken in half, both broken ends resting on the floor and still holding the mattress up. "Hey, the bed's broken." He noticed._

 _The man laughed. "You only notice now?" he asked incredulously._

 _Defensively, Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, you never told me, how am I supposed to know." His face reddened. "I_ did _hear something crack, but it wasn't you and you told me to keep going so-"_

 _The man snorted. "Well_ excuse me _for having priorities. You fell asleep right after we finished so I didn't get to tell you." He smirked. "You sleep like a log, by the way. A loud one."_

 _Shizuo groaned and fell back onto the bed, ignoring the threatening screech of the bed underneath him. "Ugh, too early in the morning for your insults."_

 _"_ _Then tell me, what_ isn't _it too early for?" purred the black-haired man. "Hm?"_

 _Shizuo began to list. "Uh, well, breakfast, maybe I can do some laundry, oh, a cigarette would be nice right about now-"_

 _The slimmer man rolled his eyes. "Why, oh, why…" he said in a long-suffering tone. "Why do you never understand my innuendos?"_

 _"'_ _Cause I don't have dirty mind, unlike you." Shizuo heard himself say._

 _"_ _Just_ who _has a dirty mind?" asked the man with mock indignation._

 _"…_ _How about you show me." Shizuo grinned. "Ah, it's only seven in the morning, whatever." He sighed with mock annoyance. "Come on. Get over here, Izaya."_

 _Izaya smirked, his red eyes sparkling. "No-o, you get over here." He sang playfully._

Shizuo sat up suddenly in bed, breathing hard, his eyes wide. Another nightmare? This was _torture_! He wanted to drive his fist through the wall. "…Terrifying." He panted. "That was absolutely _terrifying_!" he threw the blanket off. He was sweating. "…Jesus Christ…" he muttered. "This nightmare shit _needs_ to end, or I'm gonna go completely insane." Shizuo couldn't get the insanely frightening image of a shirtless Izaya smiling seductively at him from his bed.

He stumbled out of bed. It was six o'clock. He sighed and got into the shower, trying to wash the image of Izaya's toned midriff, the kiss marks on his chest and his smirk from his mind. Having such horrible nightmares was disturbing. Maybe he'd go see a shrink. Actually, those guys are crazy expensive. He decided that he was going to do another therapeutic thing – and walk around Ikebukuro.

And he needed to get his sunglasses back from the damn fleabag.

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

It was as if the ground had swallowed the black-haired information broker. He was nowhere to be found, not in any of his favorite high places (Shizuo knew all of them), not walking the streets, not using the Wi-Fi in a bookstore, not… Not _anywhere_. And Shizuo slowly walked down the streets of Ikebukuro, smoking, his hands stuck in his pockets and his mind furiously racing.

What was wrong with him? Shizuo had no idea what was wrong with him. He wasn't thinking straight and he was affected so damn badly by that damn Izaya. Izaya seemed as if he was just playing one of his little games. But _fuck_. It was like Izaya knew exactly what he was doing to him. This weird feeling that he only got around Izaya, that intense hate that made him weak, that made him feel _strange_ and it annoyed him. Another thing that annoyed him was the smug smirk on Izaya's face. It was like he knew something obvious that Shizuo did not. It was like he'd got one over Shizuo, like he'd already won. And those fucking _dreams_ didn't help either. Those horrible nightmares with him and Izaya… in a _relationship_ or some bullshit. Shizuo shivered at the thought. He was never going to get over the terrifying image of a shirtless Izaya in his bed. He shuddered again.

Shizuo couldn't wait until Izaya's arm and ribs were healed so that things would go back to normal. He almost _missed_ chasing the fleabag through the streets of Ikebukuro with a stop sign in his hand. And then, Izaya wouldn't be able to do that. Well, he'd always be able to make him feel like _that_. But at least he wouldn't see how he affected him, as if it gave him some sort of leg up – an advantage.

By ' _that_ ' Shizuo meant the weird feeling he got when Izaya had leaned in – that feeling that he usually got when around the information broker – amplified times a thousand. He hated it that one slim, annoying guy could do that to him. Make his face heat up, make him think _weird_ things. It was so annoying how Izaya could always worm his way into Shizuo's thoughts, even his nightmares. It was like Shizuo could never stop thinking about him, like he could never escape the flea.

But damn, it was _he_ who was supposed to be chasing Izaya. Not the other way around.

And that pissed Shizuo off too.

"Damn it." He muttered. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it." He furiously rubbed at the back of his neck as if that would somehow make things clearer.

"Oh! Shi-zu-oh!" Shizuo blinked, realizing that he was walking by Russia Sushi. Simon smiled at him, waving a flyer in his face. "Sushi good. You eat! Cheap sushi, half off – good deal!"

Shizuo shrugged. "Yeah. Why not." He shrugged again. "Thanks Simon."

Simon closely observed Shizuo with a serious facial expression. "You are unhappy? Eat sushi! Good for the soul." He blinked, noticing. "No sunglasses today."

"Yeah." Shizuo growled. "That fucking fleabag _stole_ them!"

"Oh! My symphony! You have it. Stealing not good. But swearing not good either."

"I think it's 'sympathy'." Shizuo said mildly, taking a flyer and walking in.

He ordered the cheapest plate of sushi and sat down at the counter to wait, still deep in thought. It was only when he felt cool finger dancing over the back of his neck, did he jerk up, looking straight into Izaya's smirking face. "You!" he growled.

"No killing each other in my shop." Denis, the owner said. "If you're going to fight, do it outside."

Shizuo looked down at his hands in his lap, curling into fists. "I'm not fighting him." He growled through his teeth. "Fuck off flea."

The 'flea' sat down next to him and ordered ootoro, smiling all the while. "So what brings you here, Shizu-chan?"

"I was looking for you." Shizuo refused to meet Izaya's eyes. If he looked into the information broker's eyes he would be unable to remain calm(ish). It was like hypnotism, he supposed. In his opinion, Izaya would probably be able to do crap like that.

Izaya pretended to titter behind his hand, fluttering his lashes coquettishly. "Oh! Me? Whatever for?" he leaned closer. "Could it be you wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you?" he said laughingly.

Shizuo focused his eyes on the far wall of the sushi shop. "Like hell I did." He snarled. "I want my sunglasses back."

"What sunglasses, hm, Shizu-chan?" The picture of innocence, Izaya leaned closer, resting his hand on Shizuo's knee.

As Izaya lay his hand on Shizuo's knee, he shot up off his stool, hitting his elbow on the counter and knocking the stool over. "O-oi!" he stuttered. "T-the hell?" _Shit_. His face was heating up again, wasn't it. Yeah. And the fast heartbeat was back – so now he wouldn't be able to think straight, right about now. Yep. Shit. Now he just made the mistake of meeting Izaya's eyes. He was officially screwed.

He heard a hearty laugh behind him and whipped around to see Simon. "Oho!" he said. "I understand." He smiled, spreading his arms. "This is good. No fighting in the shop. Good job Shi-zu-oh! Love conquers all! Peace and plenty! Good sushi makes people be good!" he looked over at Izaya. "Ne shuti s nim slishkom mnogo." He said. "On horoshii malchik. Vedi sebya horosho s nim."

Izaya smirked. "Nu zhe. Eto zhe tak vesyelo! Etot Shizu-chan takoi smeshnoi – ponyemayesh – po moyemu v menya vlubilsya."

"Vedi sebya horosho, Izaya. Opyat skozhu. Ya znayu kak ti o nyem chustvuyesh. Ne pritvoraisya."

"Ah, ot tebya nechevo ne skrit, Semyon."

"A ti nikogda ne umeyesh govorit pravdu."

Shizuo whipped his head back and forth, not understanding a single word. "What the hell're you two saying?" he growled, upon hearing his name mentioned by Izaya.

Simon smiled. "Secret. Eat sushi! Good for you. More sushi – more love in your heart!"

Shizuo rolled his eyes.

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Simon had said. "Don't joke around with him too much. He's a good boy. Treat him well."

"Come on. But it's so fun! This Shizu-chan is so funny – get this – I'm pretty sure he fell in love with me." Izaya had replied.

"Treat him well, Izaya. I'll say it again. I know what you feel about him. Don't pretend."

"Ah, I cannot hide anything from you, Simon."

"And you can never tell the truth."

It was a very good thing for Izaya that Shizuo did not understand Russian. As Shizuo dug into the plate of sushi that was such a good distraction, Izaya watched him thoughtfully. "Ne, Shizu-chan?" he finally asked.

"What." Said Shizuo not looking up.

"Why don't you look at me?"

Shizuo paused. "'Cause you'll hypnotize me or some shit." He said.

Izaya began to laugh. "Hypnotize you?" he asked. "Why do you think I'm going to do that?"

"You uh, dull my reflexes and make me unable to think if I look into your eyes for too long." He said. "Pretty much. I heard from Vorona that really advanced hypnotists only need their eyes and voice to entrance their victims. So I'm not falling for that bullshit again."

Behind the counter, Denis hid a snort. Izaya burst out laughing. "Oh Shizu-chan you're too much! I knew protozoans were dumb but not _that_ dumb!" he paused to smirk. "Or maybe you're just refusing to admit it to yourself." He said in a low voice.

"Huh?" a vein throbbed in the side of Shizuo's head. "Look, I'm trying to eat sushi here. You're ruining it with your presence." He finished the last of it. "You're lucky you're injured, otherwise you'd be _dead_."

"You don't mean that, do you?" Izaya said, his smirk widening. "You're just refusing to realize that you're head over heels in love with me!" he blew a kiss.

Shizuo almost fell off his chair and forgot himself, glaring at Izaya with an enraged growl. "What the fuck is wrong with you…!" then he trailed off. He blinked. His eyes widened, he threw a few bills on the counter (too much money) and ran out. "Fuck you Izaya!" he yelled over his shoulder. "I'm not leaving because of you! Some uh, _stuff_ came up! I got… _Work_ to do!"

Denis picked up the money and counted it out. "Well, extra donations are welcome." He said. "…This is new." He said, turning to Izaya. "Good job on not destroying the shop, I guess."

Izaya smirked. "You're welcome."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Celty anxiously ran through the points that she had laid down during her talk with Izaya. Had she forgotten anything? No loopholes?

\- _Don't treat him badly._

\- _If you turn him down don't be a jerk about it._

\- _If we end up being mistaken and it's actually some weird form of hate just act like you always have, I guess? (Just stop BREAKING things all the time)_

Izaya was very good-natured about it, laughing a little. "Every game should have rules." He had said.

 _Do you love him?_ Celty had asked.

Settling back onto the couch, Izaya sighed. "I love humans. All of humanity. Not individuals." He smirked. "And I doubt that Shizu-chan even counts as a human."

 _He's a lot more human than you think._

"This coming from a dullahan?"

 _Since I am not human I can see more than humans see about other humans._ She had said, not sure if she was right.

Izaya had only raised an eyebrow at that.

Celty typed slowly. _And you're a lot more human than you pretend to be, Izaya._

He had only laughed at that, but he had given her a long, sharp look.

Now she told Shinra everything and the doctor read very carefully. "…Celty?" he asked after she was done. "I don't know, but don't you think you're involving yourself too much?" he said it gently and Celty shrugged.

 _Izaya is important to you._ She typed. _So immediately, even though I don't really like him, he's important to me. Shizuo is my friend. And I've been suspecting something like this from the beginning, ever since you told me about their weird obsession with each other, Shinra._

Shinra nodded slowly. "So like when a little girl comes home crying, telling her mother that a boy was mean to her, the mother always says, 'he's mean to you because he doesn't know any other way of expressing his feelings', right?"

 _I guess._

He shrugged. "Well, psychology isn't my area of expertise, but you may have something there, Celty." Then he smiled blissfully. "I could never be mean to you because I always knew my feelings!" with those words he tackled Celty to the couch – would've tackled Celty to the couch – if she hadn't poked him with one of her shadow tentacles, put her helmet on and stood up.

 _I'll be back, Shinra._ She said. _I have work now._ Slowly she typed. _If I could, I'd smile at you now._

Shinra jumped up. "Love you, Celty! Take care!"

 _I will. I just hope…_ she shivered. _I hope I don't run into traffic cops._ Celty shivered again. _They're_ vicious _._


	7. Chapter 7

Symptoms of love.

Shizuo tore down the street, people parting in front of him. What the hell was Izaya's problem? Saying shit like that out of nowhere. But… for the first time in however long it had been since they had met, Izaya may have been right. _May_ have been. He was probably wrong. I mean for fuck's sake; he was _Izaya_!

But _shit_ if he _was_ right… He turned a corner. Oh! He could ask Celty. Oh god. But Shinra… Fuck it. He'd ignore the doctor. Celty would know about that kind of shit. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, hit with realization.

Wait.

Shit.

Fuck.

No.

 _NO!_

The fast heartbeat. The inability to think if he looks him in the eyes. The red face. Always thinking about him. Weak knees. Being unable to kill him. Only using half of his strength when chasing after him. Wanting to protect him. Those _nightmares…_ _No_. it couldn't be. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _HELL FUCKIN' NO!_ "Fuck you Izaya! It's all your fault!" he yelled out loud (ignoring stares from passerby) and began to run again. " _DAMN YOU, IZA-AYA-A!_ "

Shizuo arrived at Celty and Shinra's apartment, breathing hard from his run. He knocked on the door. After a few seconds, Celty opened it. _Oh, hello there, Shizuo. Goodness. Did you run here?_ She paused. _Where are your sunglasses?_

"Izaya stole them." Shizuo said.

Celty 'looked' at him. … _You want to come in?_

"Thanks." In the doorway, he slipped off his shoes and looked at Celty, rubbing the back of his neck. "…I need advice. Bad. Real bad."

 _Bad_ ly _. Real_ ly _bad_ ly. Celty corrected his grammar. _Sure thing. What about?_ Then she almost dropped the phone. _It's not about_ Izaya _is it?_

"Uh… Yeah." Shizuo said. "…It kind of is."

Shinra poked his head out of the kitchen. "Oh! Shizuo! What are you doing here?"

"Talking to Celty."

At the speed of light Shinra had divested himself of his apron and sat down on the couch next to Celty across from Shizuo. "Anything that concerns Celty, concerns me." He paused, a shadow tentacle poking him in the side. "For the most part."

Shizuo groaned. "Izaya is a fucking nuisance." He said. "…But that's… Uh." He raked his hair back from his face. "Basically he thinks I'm in love with him and…"

Celty's phone was inches away from his face. _AND ARE YOU?!_

Shinra giggled, nestling closer to Celty. "This is getting good! I forgot the popcorn."

"Uh. Well. What are the symptoms?" he asked, ignoring Shinra. He wanted to be absolutely sure before admitting anything. "'Cause I might not be." He sounded tired ad resigned. "...It's not like I wanna be…" he sighed. " _Fuck_ , it makes me mad."

Laughing, Shinra shook his head. "Symptoms? Love isn't a disease!" he looked at Celty. "It's the best thing that ever happened to me, right, Celty?"

 _Shinra, I love you very much, but right now this is about Shizuo._ Then she clapped her hand to where her mouth would've been if she had a head.

Shinra _crowed_. "Oh Celty! You publically admit your love for me in such a way-"

Shizuo cleared his throat pointedly, trying not to leave dents in the table from his finger gripping it. Celty turned away from Shinra and would've cleared her throat as well if she could've. _The thing is, Shizuo…_ she 'said'. _What you described as an intense weird form of hate… Those_ are _the symptoms. Your heart beating fast, being unable to get him out of your head, blushing. Also, wanting to protect him like you have… Those are the main 'symptoms of love'._ Celty patted his arm sympathetically. _As far as I know, I think you are in love with him._

"Fuck. No. Those dreams… Oh shit. Fuck." Said Shizuo. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He slammed his head into the coffee table. " _ARGH, FUCK_!" he slammed his head into the coffee table again, but it didn't do much for his feelings on Izaya. " _FU-UCK!_ " he roared, his forehead bleeding.

Shinra laughed so much he fell off the couch and rolled around on the carpet. "You've been infected with the love bug!" he sang through giggles. "But Orihara-kun? Of all people? You've been trying to kill each other ever since you first met! Oh, this is too much…! Ahaha-!"

Shizuo gritted his teeth and ignored him. "Celty…" he said. "Do you have anything strong? Like vodka?" he sighed. "I need to get drunk. _Really_ drunk."

 _I don't think that's such a good idea, Shizuo._ She typed. _How about you just… tell him?_

"'Cause he's not dumb – probably already knows." Shizuo groaned. "…Gonna end up embarrassing myself."

 _Either way, you should be honest about your feelings like you always are._

"You don't get it Celty. He just sees it as an advantage over me. A weakness he can exploit. To him this is still… A game of cat and mouse." He said.

 _Are you sure about that?_

Shizuo snorted. "What, you think he like, _likes_ me or something?"

 _Could be._

"You're a riot, Celty." Shizuo said with a mirthless laugh.

In the background, Shinra was singing 'Renai Circulation'.

 _Don't avoid him, just be yourself. Who knows. And listen to my advice._ I'm _the one with a boyfriend here._

Shizuo cracked a grin. "It's not like I can listen – but I guess I can just pretend nothing's happened. And I'm not gonna avoid him. I need to get my shades back after all."

 _Don't ignore feelings. It's not good for you._

He shrugged. "Hey, it's not like I could even if I tried. Thanks for the advice, Celty. Shinra, if you don't want to get punched, stop singing cheesy pop songs." He put his shoes on in the doorway. "…See ya."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Izaya sat with his feet on his desk and his phone in his hands, typing away. He watched Yagiri Namie sifting through and organizing files, so he put his phone down and leaned over the edge of the railing and looked at her from above. "He-ey Namie-san?" he whined.

"No." she said, not even bothering to look up at him.

"Could you get me some tea?" he asked.

"Do it yourself." She said, not missing a beat. Grabbing her bag from the coat-rack she finally glanced up at him. "I'm done for today."

He looked critically at his arm in a cast and at the bandaging around his ribs. "Have fu-un. …Actually don't." He said in a bored tone, not even bothering to stand up until the door slammed. Izaya slowly walked down the stairs. He definitely had overexerted himself – he knew. First with walking around so soon after the injury, then with running to cut Shizuo off and get to Russia Sushi before him – and then yesterday, when he had to 'disappear' from Shizuo's sight, while actually just watching him run around from above. For four hours.

And while he may have been a fast healer, he wasn't supernatural like Celty or just plain ridiculous like Shizuo. Ah. Shizuo. He smiled involuntarily and looked up at the vending machine with the hasty words, ' _Get better so I can kill you_ ' written on it in permanent marker. How very like Shizu-chan. Betraying his feelings while thinking that he's masking them perfectly. He ran his fingers over the tops of the frames of Shizuo's cheap blue-tinted sunglasses sitting on his shelf. Izaya knew that it was only a matter of time before the blond would show up.

Shizuo was so… _Cute. He_ supposed that 'cute' would have been not the first word that most people would use to describe Heiwajima Shizuo. But then again, he wasn't 'most people'. He was 'god'. He hissed as he almost lost his balance, causing his muscles to clench and the pain in his ribs to flare up. How ungodly of him. Izaya suppressed a wry laugh.

There was a knock at the door. And a yell. "Oi, I've knocked on every fucking door in this apartment complex, this better be you, Izaya!"

Speak of the devil. "Shizu-chan?" he said, walking over to the door, trying not to stagger. He opened the door. "Well hello there, how unexpected, _do_ come in!"

Shizuo looked at him, a lighter up to his cigarette. "You look like shit." He said.

Izaya blinked. "Thanks! That's exactly what I wanted to hear from you." He said wryly. "To what do I owe the honor?"

Shizuo 'tch-ed' and took his shoes off, then stepped in, looking at Izaya again. "You're sweating. And pale." He said matter-of-factly.

"Nonsense!" trilled Izaya. And then Izaya was surprised by Shizuo again. He lay a hand on his own forehead and then lay his other palm to Izaya's. Izaya almost laughed. Oh this was just too precious.

Shizuo 'tch-ed again. "You have a fever, fleabag." He rolled his eyes and looked closer. "…Your ribs really hurt too, don't they?" he shook his head. "Idiot. Lay down." He shook his head again. "I came here to get my sunglasses, but you…"

"Shi-izu-cha-an…!" sang Izaya, wobbling on his feet. "Giving me orders in my own apartment? …You're worried about me. So cu-ute." He teased.

"Like hell I am." Grumbled Shizuo, spots of color appearing on his cheeks. "…You're slowing down the healing process and then I'll have to wait even _longer_ so that I can kill you. How many damn times do I have to say it?" He said. He glared, but it was an unconvincing glare that seemed way too gentle. "If you don't lay down right now I'll knock you out and lay you down myself."

"What a threat. How can I argue with that." Muttered Izaya, laying down and half-closing eyes. He examined Shizuo from under his eyelashes. The blond man had just smiled and shook his head, glancing at Izaya. And that soft look on his face completely betrayed his feelings to Izaya – any doubts that Izaya may have had about Shizuo being in love with him had completely dissipated.

He carelessly threw a blanket over him, trying to make it seem like he wasn't trying to be gentle. "I'm making you tea and food." Grumbled Shizuo, rubbing the back of his neck. "And you're going to drink it and eat it. And then you're going to give me my sunglasses and go to sleep." He turned around pointing at Izaya. "And if you tell anyone about this – you are _so_ dead, injuries or not." He grinned, getting an idea. "Or I'll just tear your expensive place apart."

Izaya laughed. "…Hai-hai…!" he threw a mock salute with his non-broken arm. He relaxed.

The sound of Shizuo in his kitchen, cooking with a sort of affected quietness (like he was trying too hard not to make any noise) and the sound of his intermittent soft humming and occasional grunts of displeasure were somehow comforting. "Do you ever go shopping?" and "You haven't checked the expiration date on this for _two_ fucking years, I see." And "Do you even _know_ what nutrition is?" and "What the fuck even _is_ this? Is this _food_?" he had grumbled. Izaya laughed softly.

Finally there was the 'clack' of dishes being set on the coffee table next to the couch. It smelled good. Izaya opened his eyes. The sight of Shizuo carefully laying out a meal for him made him laugh. "…You would make a good housewife."

Shizuo glared at him. "Do you _want_ to die?" he huffed. "Eat it."

Izaya tried to sit up but couldn't. "You didn't poison it, did you?" he asked jokingly.

Another huff and Shizuo was helping him sit up, gently avoiding his injuries. It was funny. Izaya wanted to laugh again. Shizuo could lift a vending machine, rip a sign from the concrete, break through a brick wall and god knows what else, but he could be ridiculously gentle, as if he was _afraid_. "Why the hell would I do _that_." He muttered sarcastically. "Eat up. I didn't. Poison seems more like your thing. All cowardly and shit."

"Oh that's rude." Making puppy eyes at him, Izaya tried really hard not to smirk. "Feed me?" he held up his arm in a plaster cast.

"You _do_ want to die." Shizuo growled, but picked up the chopsticks and was about to grab a piece of meat with them when Izaya burst out laughing.

"I was joking, I was joking…! I'm ambidextrous – right-handed originally!" he winced at the pain laughing caused him. "Ahaha- Ouch." He hissed in pain, shutting his eyes.

The chopsticks snapped under his fingers and a vein began throbbing in the side of his head. "S'what you deserve." He muttered. Then he noticed Izaya's face drawn with pain and almost jumped off the couch. "Izaya! …You okay? If it's that bad I can take you to Shinra again-"

Izaya looked up at him with a smirk, the pain dissipating slightly. "…You are adorable."

He jumped back. "I can't believe you want to die _that_ bad." Shizuo grumbled. "I'll break all your windows." He threatened. As Izaya ate, Shizuo sat across from him on the couch, looking around the apartment. His eyes widened. "The vending machine?" he asked incredulously. "You were serious?"

"Fond memories, ne, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding Izaya's eyes. "I _told_ you, I was bored. Stop talking if you don't want me to break your apartment." He growled. It was ridiculously obvious how badly Shizuo had fallen for him. And he knew Shizuo knew it too, as he had gotten a text from Celty, saying, ' _Remember what I said before_.' Izaya finished and began to drink the tea.

"It was good." He said. "I didn't know you could cook." He said.

Shizuo looked at him. "I live by myself. It'd be dumb if I didn't."

Izaya looked back at him over the rim of his teacup. "…You have an advantage over me, Shizu-chan." He said. "Now you know where I live."

"And you don't?" asked Shizuo incredulously. "You could sell my address for some fat cash."

"No, Shizu-chan, I don't." he said, lying.

"Yeah, right." Shizuo stood up and began to take the dishes back to the kitchen. "Don't worry." He said so quietly, that Izaya wasn't sure if Shizuo was talking to him. "You have another much bigger advantage over me – you can be sure of that."

Izaya smirked. "And what would that advantage be?" he asked with a playful tone in his voice. He knew what the advantage was. But… It wasn't as big of an advantage as Shizuo thought it was.

The look on Shizuo's face could only be described as ' _shit, did I say that out_ _loud_ '. "Uh…" his cheeks reddened again and he avoided Izaya's laughing red eyes. "…Drink your tea, fleabag!"

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Shizuo washed the dishes and put them in the drying rack, glad that he had his back to Izaya for the time being. That bastard… he knew. Playing around like that… Ugh. Shizuo was annoyed at himself for being so affected. Shinra was wrong. Love _was_ a disease and he, Heiwajima Shizuo, had caught it – bad. Probably going to end up being a deadly disease too – for why, of all people, did it have to be Orihara Izaya?! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. He wanted to break so many things but he lay he final dish in the drying rack before he broke it and dug his nails into his palm, his hands curling into fists.

He finished up and looked at Izaya. He was curled up on the couch wrapped in the blanket, his eyes closed and breathing deeply. Shizuo crouched down by him and rested his hand on Izaya's forehead. The fever had almost completely dissipated. That was good.

Shizuo sat down on the floor with his back against the couch. So, should he go home now? He rubbed the back of his neck. Shit. What was he supposed to do? It was already ten o'clock at night by his watch. His phone buzzed.

Tom-san: _Hey, you got your sunglasses back?_

 _Not yet_ , Shizuo texted back. _Sorry about running off like that yesterday. I'll make it up on Monday._

Tom-san: _All good. Don't worry about it. You have Sunday off too._

Tom-san: _Good luck on getting your sunglasses back._

 _Thanks._

Shizuo sighed and was about to put his phone back in his pocket when he got another text. This time from Celty.

Celty: _Everything good?_

 _I dunno._

 _…_ _I'm kind of in Izaya's apartment right now._

Celty: _WHAT?! ALREADY?!_

Celty: _Congratulations_

 _NOT LIKE THAT_

 _GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER_

Celty: _Oh._

Celty: _You realize; I didn't say anything specific… Just_ whose _mind is in the gutter?_

 _Ugh, whatever._

 _I came to get my glasses back, the flea's terrible at taking care of himself so I kinda just…_

 _Helped, I guess?_

Celty: _Did you get your sunglasses back?_

 _No._

 _Actually… He's sleeping right now and I have no idea what to do._

 _Do I leave?_

Celty: _Are you sure he's asleep?_

 _He looks like it._

 _Why?_

Celty: _Just so you know, he's probably faking it._

Celty: jhdbs 8fug5784bgn2neomfccccccccccccc

Celty: _Sorry, Shizuo – I have to go._

 _You okay there?_ He ventured.

No reply from Celty. Shizuo got a text from Shinra.

Shinra: _No more texting for a few hours. We're busy 3, ka-ay?_

 _Ugh._

 _TMI_

Shizuo put his phone in his pocket and looked at Izaya. What did Celty mean 'he's faking it'? Why would he do that? But he shrugged. It was Izaya. Who knows. The guy caused problems just because he felt like it. "Oi, you awake?" he whispered. No reply. Shizuo shrugged. Izaya shifted slightly and his bangs fell in his eyes. Fondly and with feather-light fingers, Shizuo brushed the bangs off Izaya's face. Izaya seemed to smile in his sleep. Emboldened, he brushed Izaya's forehead with his lips. "Damn you, Izaya." He whispered gently.


	8. Chapter 8

The wrong thing to say.

Izaya was, of course, awake. Watching from half-lidded eyes at Shizuo's texting and trying to repress a laugh when he had _asked_ him if he was awake. Did Shizu-chan think he'd just _tell_ him, 'Yes, I'm awake'? He almost _did_ laugh when Shizuo had brushed his hair out of his face. But Shizuo was an unpredictable protozoan as usual so when he had gently kissed Izaya on the forehead – Izaya's urge to 'wake up' was quadrupled. "Damn you, Izaya." Shizuo had said lovingly.

He almost screamed with laughter at that, although he just _had_ to admit to himself that it wasn't entirely unpleasant. And in 'Brute' – Shizuo's first language – 'damn you' probably meant something along the lines of 'I love you'.

Settling back more comfortably, he was about to go to sleep for real, when he felt himself being gently lifted and carried – then slowly deposited on his bed. In the half-darkness, he lifted his lashes a fraction and saw Shizuo, staring at him, debating something. Then he shrugged as if to say 'screw it' and covered him with the blanket, tucking him in. Izaya wanted to laugh again. This guy was Mr. Obvious from Obvious Planet.

As Shizuo turned to leave, however, Izaya acted without thinking, without being carefully planned out, something he _never_ did. His arm shot out and he grabbed Shizuo's sleeve. "Shizuo…" he mumbled, still feigning sleep. Through half-lidded eyes he could see Shizuo's form stiffen, then slowly relax, turning back. Slowly, he sat down with his back against the bed, allowing Izaya to keep his hold on the sleeve.

He leaned his head back onto the mattress and let out a tired sigh. "…Maybe not damn you _so_ much…" he chuckled sleepily.

Under the cover of darkness, Izaya could not hide a small smile.

In this way, the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku's Informant, sworn enemies, fell asleep.

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Izaya woke early, a small smile on his lips, Shizuo's hand in his. _Wait._ Shizuo's hand in _his_?! He wouldn't have been surprised if the protozoan had taken Izaya's hand while asleep. But it was _he_ , himself who took Shizuo's hand. Ah, well. He was sure that whenever Shizuo woke up, his expression would be priceless.

And indeed it was. Shizuo woke a few minutes later, sitting up and his shoulder making a loud crack. He yawned then blinked, then looked up his arm only to see Izaya's hand holding his. His face flushed and he stared towards Izaya – who tried to preserve a look of sleeping innocence on his face. Shizuo covered his face with his other hand – and Izaya tried his hardest not to laugh.

Then with a deep breath, Shizuo gently extricated himself and stood up. He adjusted the collar of his shirt and was about to walk out of the room when Izaya decided to make a big show of waking up, stretching and yawning. "Ah, good morning Shizu-chan!" he trilled. "I see you didn't kill me in my sleep!"

"…As if you'd _see_ if I did." Muttered Shizuo. "'Morning to ya too." He cleared his throat. "…Flea." He added, unconvincingly.

Izaya slid out of bed. "I'm taking a shower." He said. Poking a finger at Shizuo he grinned. " _You_ make breakfast."

"Psh." Snorted Shizuo. "Go make your own breakfast, asshole. I'm outta here."

"…Oh…!" Izaya pretended to lose his balance, clutching at his ribs.

Just as he had calculated, Shizuo had caught him. "…Oi, you." Growled the debt collector. "Get in bed. I'm making breakfast." He rubbed the back of his neck looking away. "…Not just for you. I'm eating too."

"I'll just take a shower and you can take one after me, Shizu-chan." Izaya smirked.

Before it registered what he was saying, Shizuo quickly and concernedly spoke again. "D'you need help-" he cut himself off, realizing, clearing his throat. "I-I mean- Fuck off and take a shower 'cause you stink like flea!"

Izaya's smirk grew wider and he stepped closer to Shizuo, pressing his body up against the stuttering man. "O-oh?" he purred. "And how will you _help_ me in the shower, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo took a step back, almost stumbling, his face beet red. "O-oi! Quit doing weird shit and saying crazy stuff!" he yelled. "If you weren't injured I'd've killed ya!" he cleared his throat and almost _ran_ into the kitchen.

Not holding back his laughter, Izaya went into the bathroom and stood for a long time under cold water before actually washing up. He re-wrapped the bandages around his ribs, wincing and hissing in pain. Then he blinked – thinking of a few new ways to mess with Shizuo. Smirking to himself, he kicked his dirty clothes outside and walked out in just a towel wrapped around his hips, taking another towel to dry his dripping hair as he walked out.

With his back to Izaya, Shizuo was frying bacon, smoking and humming to himself. "I'm ou-out!" he sang.

"Hm?" Shizuo turned around, taking the bacon off the burner. It was a good thing that he had, for he would've probably broken the pan or set the bacon on fire as it was, the spatula snapped in his hands. " _WHY THE HELL'RE YOU NOT WEARING CLOTHES?!_ " he roared, his face once more, beet-red. " _I'LL KILL YOU!_ "

Izaya laughed. "That didn't even make any sense, Shizu-chan." He winked, putting a hand on his hip and playfully sticking it out. "I bet you like this, you pervert…!"

" _LIKE HELL I DO! PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON YOU FUCKING FLEABAG!_ "

Pouting, Izaya shook his head. "Don't wanna." He said. "It's my apartment, isn't it? I can do what I want." He began to smirk. "We're both _men._ " he purred. "Why so embarrassed, Shizu-chan?"

" _LIKE HELL I AM! BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR GUEST AND PUT CLOTHES ON!_ "

"Guest? As far as _I_ remember, you showed up at my door, told me I looked like shit and then started ordering me around." Izaya smirked.

Shizuo took several heaving breaths. " _THAT'S ONLY 'CAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU – YOU INGRATE!_ " he roared so loudly that he could probably been heard all across Tokyo.

"Worried?" Izaya said with shining eyes. "Ah, Shizu-chan, I'm so _touched_! How sweet of you!"

Shizuo froze, realizing that he had just said something out loud ( _really_ loud) that he shouldn't have. So he decided to remedy that with more yelling. " _WHO THE FUCK SAID I WAS WORRIED? LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!_ " he threw (gently) one end of the broken spatula at Izaya, missing (intentionally) by a yard.

" _You_ just did, if I remember correctly. I'm sure the neighbors, not to mention the whole of _Japan_ heard you." Izaya shook his head. "Ah, well. I guess there's no cure for protozoans is there…" he said with mock sadness.

" _IZAYA!_ "

"Hm? What?"

" _IF BY THE TIME I'M OUT OF THE SHOWER YOU DON'T PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND GIVE ME MY SUNGLASSES BACK – I'M GONNA…_ GONNA… Gonna…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "…Something."

Izaya winked. "What kind of something?" Shizuo whipped around with a roar and Izaya smiled at him. "…Go on, go on – take that shower. Clean clothes on the counter." He said. As if suddenly bored, he sat down on the couch and began reading a magazine. He heard Shizuo mutter something and shuffle into the bathroom. Izaya laughed out loud when he heard the click of a lock on the door.

Oh, Shizuo would enjoy that shower. Izaya knew that he'd 'enjoy' realizing that there were in fact, no clean clothes on the counter – nor anywhere in the bathroom for that matter. Izaya's definition of enjoyment was… _Different._


	9. Chapter 9

Detective Conan references.

Shizuo turned the shower to the coldest possible setting and tried to breathe evenly. This was too much for him. He should've left, but then… Izaya would be alone and he was injured… No. He couldn't've left. There was no way.

He let out a deep breath and looked around for soap. He sniffed the pink block suspiciously. It smelled like roses. He sniffed another one, green. Mint. He sniffed yet another. It smelled less flowery and effeminate, kind of a mix of rosemary and something else. He decided to use it.

As he lathered himself he almost laughed. He was in Izaya's apartment, using his shower after having stayed the night (and woken up holding the guy's hand). It was completely surreal and if anyone had suggested it to him a week ago, their head would probably become acquainted with a concrete wall soon after they had said it – and Shizuo would have been the enthusiastic wingman.

The water had become less pleasantly cold after a while and he heard a knock on the door.

"Are you alive in there, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya curiously. "You're not trying to drown yourself in there, are you?"

"Uh, no! I'll be right out!" he called, rinsing himself off and turning off the water. "Annoying fleabag." He added, unconvincingly.

Izaya gave a short laugh. Shizuo stepped out of the shower and began to dry himself off with the spare towel. Then he froze, his gaze alighting on the counter. He had been so distracted that he had forgotten to check whether Izaya actually _had_ left clean clothes on the counter. He hadn't. He looked everywhere, trying not to ransack the bathroom _too_ much. No clothes. Why _would_ Izaya have clothes in his arch-nemesis's size laying around, anyway? Shizuo clearly hadn't bothered to ask himself that question. He had simply expected that somehow Izaya _would_. Who knows what kind of stuff this guy had, right?

Apparently – _not_ clothes for Shizuo.

Shizuo's calm, slightly amused mood completely dissipated. " _Izaya-ku-un!_ " he growled, trying not to put his fist through the wall. He wrapped the bath towel around his waist and cautiously cracked open the door, only to see Izaya hiding a grin while perched on the arm of his couch, wearing a smirk, a towel and nothing else. "Where the fuck are 'the clothes on the counter', huh, _Izaya-kun_?!" he snarled.

Izaya smiled. "I lied!" he said happily.

This was a bit too much for Shizuo. Unwittingly, his hands tightened on the door and when he let go, his fingerprints were deeply impressed in the door's surface. "Izaya! What the fuck?!" he yelled.

"Hm…" Izaya's smile did not disappear. "At least I left you a towel, right?" he laughed. "A-re? You seem to be annoyed, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo tried really hard not to pull Izaya's bathroom door off its' hinges. "No shit, fleabag!"

"Well, now we're even, aren't we? Both wearing towels!" Izaya paced over to the kitchen and helped himself to some bacon. "I put your bartender outfit in the laundry, by the way."

"I'm bloody _cold_!" Shizuo snarled, still not coming out from behind the door.

"Too-oo ba-ad!" sang Izaya.

Shizuo cautiously stepped out from behind the door and sat down heavily on the couch, avoiding Izaya's gaze. "…Fucking annoying." He muttered.

"Goodness!" exclaimed Izaya, looking at Shizuo with appreciation. "What a body, Shizu-chan!"

He almost jumped off the couch at that. "The hell's wrong with you?!" he yelled.

"Am I making you flustered?"

"H-hell no!" Shizuo exclaimed.

Izaya stepped closer. "And oh!" he said, leaning in, looking closely at Shizuo's chest. Shizuo tried really hard not to cross his arms over his chest like a girl and start throwing things. "That's the scar I gave you on our first meeting!" he said happily.

"Yeah!" Shizuo muttered. "'Cause you decided to fucking _slash_ me. Ruined a good uniform shirt, too."

Sitting next to Shizuo on the couch, uncomfortably close, Izaya smiled. "Aren't you glad you have something to remember me by?"

"…No."

"Aww, such a tsun-tsun!" pouted Izaya.

Shizuo blinked. "…The fuck's a tsun-tsun?"

"Not telling!" sang Izaya.

"…Not like I care anyway."

Izaya laughed. "Point proven." He said under his breath.

Shizuo edged away. "The hell's with your soap, huh?" he asked. "Smells like flowers and shit! You're a _man_!"

"A man who likes to smell nice."

" _Roses_?!"

"You do notice that there was another one – and you used it."

"One out of three. And I'm not too happy about it." Shizuo's nose twitched. "I smell like flea."

"Yep!" Izaya grinned. "I'm marking my territory with my scent." He added.

" _WhaT THE FUck?!_ " Shizuo jumped up.

Izaya stretched out. "You heard me." He said.

Shizuo's face flamed and he began to eat cold bacon, not looking at Izaya. The fork warped in his hand as he clutched it, but he didn't notice. Why was the goddamn flea making this so goddamn hard for him. No pun intended

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

In Shinjuku's Animate store, Karisawa Erika looked over the top of the latest installation of 'Irregular at Magic High School – the Manga' and met Yumasaki Walker's eyes. "It's _time_." She said dramatically.

Walker blinked and put down his copy of 'A Certain Magical Index' light novel. "Time for what?" he frowned. "This better be good – I'm getting to the climax here."

With a long-suffering sigh, Erika closed her manga with a snap. "'There is only one truth'!" she exclaimed, pushing invisible glasses up and flinging out her arm, pointing into the distance.

He tilted his head to the side. "…'Detective Conan'?"

Erika sighed again. "You don't get it? It's time to start detectiving! About Iza-nyan and Shizu-Shizu's relationship!" she screeched.

Walker nodded slowly. "Oh." He paused. "I don't think 'detective' can be used as a verb." He said. Then a slow smile spread over his face. "…Let's go!"

The two paid for their manga and light novels, then tore out of the shop. Kadota stood leaning against the side of Togusa's van. "You guys done?" he asked.

Walker nodded. "Yup!"

As he and Erika piled their purchases into the trunk, he looked over his shoulder at Kadota. "We'll be going somewhere after this!" he called.

Erika pulled a pair of sunglasses and a plaid hat from her bag and put them on. "Take care of our stuff!" she called.

The two walked away down the sidewalk, leaving a confused Kadota and distracted Togusa (he was watching Hijiribe Ruri's newest music video and deaf to the world). Walker glanced at Erika. "Are you going for 'James Bond' look or 'Sherlock Holmes' look?" he asked, pointing at her strange getup.

"Both." She said and handed him another pair of sunglasses and a bowtie. After some deliberating, she gave him a fake mustache too. "Here you go."

Walker put the sunglasses on, put the bowtie on and looked at the mustache. "…This isn't really my thing." He said.

Erika shrugged and put the mustache on herself. "Now I'm Mouri Kogoro!" she said.

"And I'm Detective Takagi!"

"You look more like Doctor Airade without the curly hair."

"You mean the one that was Vermouth or the real one?"

"The real one!"

"I'd rather be Amuro."

The two continued to walk. Finally, Erika stopped, looking up at a tall apartment building. "This is where Iza-nyan lives." Erika said in a hoarse whisper.

Walker looked at her. "How do you know that?"

"I asked Mika-chan!" grinned Erika. "She knows _everything._ In fact…" Erika took out her phone. "She had some bugs planted there, maybe we can listen in on the… _action._ " Erika sniffed, hoping that there was no blood leaking from her nose. Walker gave her a tissue just in case. Erika began the call (the profile picture for Harima Mika on Erika's phone was a picture of Gasai Yuno).

"Hi there, Seiji-kun!" said Erika cheerfully. "Can you give the phone to Mika-chan? …Hey, Mika-chan? …Mmhmm…! Yeah, sorry, I know you're *ahem* busy with Seiji-kun… …No, that's not why I'm calling." A smile slowly unfurled itself across Erika's round face. "…Can you send me the audio recordings of the bugs you have planted in Orihara Izaya's apartment? …You're sending them to me now? Audio _and_ video? …Awesome, you're the best, Mika-nyan! Thanks! Have fun with Seiji-kun!"

Walker looked at Erika expectantly. "You get them?"

"Yep!" Erika quickly signed into her email. "Let's listen to the newest one." She said.

There was a crackling sound and the screen was black. Then slowly things came into focus. Erika fast-forwarded through several hours of Yagiri Namie and Orihara Izaya working on their respective computers, occasionally getting up to look through files (Namie) and texting with a maniacal grin (Izaya). Then Namie left and there was a knock at Izaya's door.

Erika paused. "…Is it Shizu-Shizu come to embrace our protagonist?" she asked in a deep narrator's voice. "Or is it an alien, come to kidnap Orihara Izaya?!"

Walker glared at her. "…Maybe if you pressed 'play' the answer would become clear." He said with annoyance.

They continued to watch. By the end of the recording, Erika was in a heap on the ground, her nose bleeding and walker crouching next to her, his jaw almost reaching the floor. " _Damn you, Izaya…_ " the slightly metallic (bad quality audio) voice of Shizuo said. And on the tiny screen of Erika's phone, the granulated video showed Shizuo bending down to leave a kiss on Izaya's forehead.

Then the video ended. And Erika screamed. " _DID YOU SEE THAT?! DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?! I WAS RIGHT! TAKE THAT YOU WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN THE TRUTH OF YAOI! BL WINS!_ " She reared up until she stood on her legs (a little shaky) with blood streaming from her nose, her eyes alight (with what could only be described as fujioshi fervor) and the phone clutched in her outstretched hand, she was strangely majestic.

Walker shook his head. "Photoshop? Really advanced hologram…? No, it can't be." he muttered. "No… It's real. All this time, it was real… Holy _shit_!" he whooped.

The two friends hugged (body-slammed and wrapped their arms tightly around) each other.

Then Erika grabbed Walker's hand and pulled him up the stairs. "I know which one is Izaya's!" she yelled.

"How? Did Mika-chan tell you?"

"No! On the recording, when Shizuo opened the door we could see the number. It may have been backwards but I saw it!"

"That's true Kudo Shinichi deduction right there!"

"If I'm Shinichi you can be Heiji!"

"But I'm not from Osaka!" panted Walker as they ran up the stairs. "And I like Sera more than Kazuha…!"

Erika was red-faced and panting too (otaku are not meant for running up many stories of steps) but the power of yaoi – the strength that pure, unadulterated (albeit fluffy) BL drove her onwards. "Doesn't matter! You can be Professor Agasa if it bothers you that much!"

"Never mind!" wheezed Walker. "I'll be Heiji."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Finally at the door, Erika and Walker looked at each other. "We're here…" panted Walker. "So what now?"

Erika tilted her head to the side. "Didn't really think of that…" she said.

The loud yell of, ' _WHY THE HELL'RE YOU NOT WEARING CLOTHES?!'_ interrupted whatever Walker was about to say next. Erika's eyebrows advanced up her forehead. "…It's the seduction!" she hissed, pressing her ear against the door. "Come here!"

Walker pressed his ear to the door too, facing her. He got the tissues ready in case of a bloody nose on Erika's part. "…You're right about him being a tsundere." He whispered. "Like, a _mega_ tsundere." Erika could not answer as she had half the box of tissues up her nose already. As Shizuo began yelling again, she almost moaned. Walker became slightly uncomfortable, but focused his attention on the conversation happening on the other side of the door.

The two exchanged glances and hissed hypotheses about what was going on on the other side of the door. Then Erika's phone went off. ' _Master, you have a message._ ' The voice of the demon butler Sebastian said. Erika swore and dove for her phone, but it seemed as if no-one important (Izaya and Shizuo) had herd it.

She flipped it open and almost squealed. "Mika-chan's streaming the video surveillance directly to my phone!" she murmured excitedly.

With their ears still pressed to the door, they watched the events unfolding. Shizuo going into the shower, Izaya stretching out on the couch and doing something with his phone. An enraged Shizuo coming out of the shower. Flirting. Shizuo's status as a tsundere confirmed by Izaya. More ridiculous flirting. Shizuo eating bacon.

Walker grinned. "This is getting _good_."

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Izaya watched Shizuo's broad back as he bent over the counter and wolfed down monster-sized portions of bacon. Well, he _was_ a beast – Izaya had to remind himself. But recently… It didn't seem to be the case. Or he just didn't see Shizuo like this and had assumed. He mistook his own feelings just as Shizuo had – or maybe somehow Shizuo had projected his feelings of (Hate? Love?) onto him. That thought gave him pause.

If Shizuo kissed him, would he like it? Actually no, that wouldn't have anything to do with anything. He would _like_ it, but that's not the point. The man _was_ attractive but that was pure lust, not love.

In the background, the washing machine beeped, then went into dryer mode.

Okay. So Shizu-chan was now one of Izaya's beloved humans. That just made him interesting to watch, to poke and prod at, to manipulate and control and laugh at the end results whether they be good or bad. It didn't really do Shizuo justice. Was Shizuo more than human? No. Izaya's _feelings_ were getting involved here. And anything that involved Izaya's _feelings_ was serious. He needed to sort this out and quickly.

He was not a human. He was Orihara Izaya, info broker and _god_. He held humans in the palm of his hand. Love was something painfully human – something he could not afford to take up. For Christ's sake, Izaya _made_ people fall in love, then used it against them. He knew how much love could hurt. He'd _seen_ it. He'd _caused_ it. And he had _laughed_.

Now he wasn't so sure he would've laughed. But that wasn't good. He needed to work things out. Either accept Shizuo as a 'human' and demote him to a plaything… Or keep Shizuo's status as a 'beast' and play his stupid little games of 'let's throw the vending machine at Izaya' and 'let's stab Izaya with this signpost' or in some cases; 'let's simply attack Izaya with no weapons'.

Then he paused. Oh, but Shizuo wouldn't be able to do that anymore. So accepting Shizuo as a 'beast' would mean… What would it mean? Would it mean that-

"Hey, fleabag?" a hand was waved in front of Izaya's face and he blinked.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You're spacing out." Shizuo said. Then he sighed. "…I need to smoke." Patted his pockets, realized he had none (still wearing a towel) and then swore. "You stole my sunglasses, what've you done with the tuff that was in my pockets?!" he growled.

Izaya sighed. "Oh, darling, your mood swings…" he sighed again, then an impish grin found its' way onto his lips. "You'll have to find it!" he sang. "Your house keys, your phone, your cigarettes and Tom-san's business card! Where could they be?"

"You bastard! That phone was a gift from Kasuka!"

"I didn't do anything to it." Izaya said calmly. "I just hid it." He smiled. "I'll give you a clue, _protozoan_ , you'll need it."

Shizuo crossed his arms over his bare chest. "The hell is it?"

"It's where your sunglasses are!" smiled Izaya.

Shizuo sucked in air though his nostrils, a vein throbbing in the side of his head. " _THE FUCK KINDA CLUE IS THAT?!_ I dunno where my sunglasses are!" he looked at Izaya then looked away. "I'd lift you by the front of your shirt to threaten you but, oh, _wait_." He paused for dramatic effect. " _YOU DON'T FUCKING_ HAVE _A SHIRT!_ "

Izaya sat down on the couch. "You can cheat…" he said. "I'll tell you where they are if you do something I tell you."

"Yeah? I'll do something irreparably stupid and then you'll laugh at me and end up _not_ telling me where my stuff is." Shizuo said wryly. "I might be a 'protozoan' but I do know that much."

A smirk spread across Izaya's face. "…Good job, Shizu-chan." He said condescendingly. "You've upgraded from a protozoan to a cave-man. A huge leap." He got up. "You know, as reward, I think I'll go put some pants on, just for you."

As Shizuo rolled his eyes, Izaya ripped off his towel and threw it in Shizuo's face, all in one motion. Then he walked into his bedroom and took his time in putting on boxers, then socks, then pants, all very slowly.

He walked out to see Shizuo with a hand over his eyes, a redness around his face and the towel thrown in Izaya's direction. "You have clothes on?" asked Shizuo with a slightly choked voice.

Izaya caught the towel. "Hm. Do I? It depends." He said.

"Can I open my eyes or not?" asked Shizuo exasperatedly.

"You could, but then I won't be responsible for what you see. Or rather I _will_ be."

"Are you decent?" growled Shizuo, getting annoyed (more annoyed than usual).

"Hm… It depends on your definition of ' _decent_ '." Izaya said, holding a finger to his chin and tilting his head to the side.

" _Are you fucking wearing clothes or not_?!" snarled Shizuo.

"We-ell…" Izaya stretched. "Am I?"

The beeping of the washer/dryer machine interrupted them and Shizuo turned away from Izaya. He opened it and took his clothes out. His nose twitched. "Now even my clothes smell like flea." He said.

"I'm wearing pants." Izaya said, smirking. "Just so you know."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "What's wrong with you…" he muttered.

Izaya smirked. "…A lot."


	10. Chapter 10

Charging Hens and Mother Bulls.

Shizuo sat facing Izaya glaring at him. That fleabag was going to give him his stuff back. He wasn't going to get up and run around the damn guy's apartment for Christ's sake. Izaya, on the other hand, was very much relaxed. He lay back on his couch, thin, long fingers quickly tapping at the screen of his phone. Finally, Shizuo snapped. "Where the hell is y stuff?"

Izaya looked up from his phone and smirked widely. "If I told you, this wouldn't be interesting anymore." He rolled onto his side to face Shizuo. "I'm studying you."

"Feh." Shizuo made a sound of disgust. "Creepy."

That did not deter Izaya. "I've actually already studied you quite a bit so I know exactly how to produce certain reactions." He grinned happily. "Studying a beast is rather different from studying humans – a nice change."

Shizuo's eyebrow twitched and that was when he knew that he had completely lost his temper. "Yeah?" he snarled. "Well study _this_ , fleabag!" he dove to grab Izaya's phone, ostensibly to throw it out the window or simply snap it in half – something like that – when Izaya simply dropped the phone to wrap is arms around his middle – pain running across his face.

As difficult as it was to switch direction in midair, Shizuo managed it. "Oi, Izaya." He said with concern. "What's wrong? Does it hurt again? I told you, you shouldn't move around so much, you dumbass!"

Izaya looked up through eyes half-lidded with pain. "I have a job. Do you expect me to simply stay in bed and rest up?" he snarled through gritted teeth. "That's not what _you_ would do, for sure – so don't lecture me."

"Don't compare yourself to me, Izaya." Shizuo said quietly, his fingers making dents in the armrest of the couch. "I can get shot, fall from a building, break bones… And I'll be just as good as before, if not better, in a few days, maybe even a few hours. You're normal. Can't your job wait? I heard some asshole stabbed you and you ended up in the hospital. Did you do your job then?"

"My job is the kind that has a nasty habit of finding _me_." Izaya smirked dryly, laying back with a groan.

"You seriously need to rest the hell up, Izaya. You've been hit by a truck. You shouldn't be prancing around Tokyo and causing trouble." He grinned sadly. "Not that you should be doing that in the first place, but now especially."

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "And how do you think that's going to happen? I actually kind of like my job, you know." He sighed. "And some of my clients are the type to make house calls."

Shizuo's eyebrows knitted together. "…So I'll stay here. If anyone shows up, I'll tell them to fuck off – the Heiwajima Shizuo way." He said quickly and gently added. "Come on, Izaya. Heal up. Rest up."

There was a laugh and a wince from Izaya. "…You are hilarious, Shizu-chan…" he muttered. "…What happened to the 'fleabag'? You've been calling me 'Izaya' for quite a while now."

The ex-bartender stiffened and there was a reddish tinge that spread itself over his cheekbones. "…Never noticed. … _Fleabag_." He said gruffly.

Izaya rolled onto his side to face Shizuo. He smiled genuinely, surprising even himself. "…I'm sure Namie-san is going to be very surprised to find you staying here." He said. Then he paused and his playful smirk reappeared on his face as he asked, very 'casually'. "…By the way, what's your relationship with our lovely young Vorona-chan?" Not that it was bothering him or anything. He just wanted to know. For research purposes. Yeah.

On Shizuo's face, an eyebrow went up. "The hell kind of a question's that?" he asked, genuinely puzzled. "We're not dating, if that's what you mean. We work together." Then he cut himself off. "Wait, why d'you wanna know? Who the hell's Namie-san anyway?"

"Oh no-othing! No-one!" trilled Izaya, suddenly (for no reason) feeling to be in a better mood (that had nothing to do with Vorona not dating Shizuo. Nothing at all). He began to hum. "Where should I go? Russia Sushi? Ikebukuro? I'm feeling like takeout!"

"You're going to bed." Shizuo said firmly, gently picking Izaya up.

From Shizuo's arms, Izaya tried hard not to laugh. "Oh how aggressive of you, Shizu-chan! Taking charge, hm? Taking me to bed, are you?"

Shizuo's face reddened. "Asshole. If you break some other bone on the way to Russia Sushi, I'll have to wait even longer to kill you, and I'm not a patient person." He looked at Izaya as he lay him down. "Also, you should start eating real food. No wonder you're so skinny. You always eat crap food. I bet you skip meals, too."

Izaya laughed. "You sound more like a mother hen than a charging bull for once. A charging hen? No. A mother bull? No? You don't like that?" he snorted. "No… Ah well, forget it."

"Shut up and don't move. I'm getting you some real food. And I'm paying for it with your money."

"…Hai-ha-ai…!"

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Shizuo was getting used to this. As he muttered to himself in Izaya's kitchen he chided himself for letting down his guard like that around Izaya. And who the hell was Namie-san? That was the question bothering him as he cut vegetables for the stir-fry he was making. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't pay attention very carefully. "Ow! Shit." He muttered as his hand slipped and he sucked at a cut on his index finger.

"Oh, you." Muttered Izaya, suddenly coming up behind Shizuo. "Here. Gimme that." He said, taking Shizuo's hand. He had put on a shirt.

"Oi, oi!" Shizuo muttered, red faced as Izaya concentratedly wrapped a band-aid around Shizuo's finger. "I thought I told you to stay in bed."

Izaya mock-pouted. "I disobeyed."

"Tch." Shizuo turned down the heat on the stovetop. "It's for your own good, dumbass." He muttered.

Bickering, neither of the two noticed the door opening and closing and footsteps unhurriedly making their ways into the kitchen. "Well _this_ is interesting." Said a voice – the tone implying that she was completely disinterested.

Izaya turned away from Shizuo. "Ah, Namie-san!" he said. "Hello there!"

Shizuo slowly turned away from the stove, crossing his arms, the spatula buckling under his tightening fingers. So this was the infamous Namie-san, was she? She wasn't bad-looking. Had that high-and-mighty look about her, pretty big rack and a nice voice – if she didn't sound so high-and-mighty all the time. "Yo." He said with equal disinterest. "You're Namie-san?"

"And you must be Heiwajima Shizuo-san." Said Namie. "I've heard a lot about you, mostly from this guy…" she jabbed her thumb in Izaya's direction. "But I've never met you in person."

Izaya pretended to wince as she called him 'this guy'.

"Hm." Shizuo grunted. "Uh, well there's probably enough food for ya, I guess."

"I ate already."

"Sure."

The kitchen plunged into silence except for the sizzling of the stir-fry and Namie left to go upstairs. Shizuo turned back to the stove.

"You know, Shizu-chan, you're breaking the spatula." Said Izaya with a smile, sitting down at the table.

"It's not like you use it anyway, fleabag." Shizuo said. "Agh, I really need a smoke!" he added.

"Namie-san uses it when she cooks."

"Well you can buy your dear Namie-san a new one, flea. Do I give a shit?"

"Well, Namie-san's cooking is good-"

"My cooking's better!" Shizuo growled. "I bet that little _Ojou-sama_ never cooked anything in her entire life."

Izaya giggled a little. "Someone jealous?"

" _I-Iza-aya-a-ku-un_ …!" snarled Shizuo. "You're pissing me off!"

"Oh, it seems I'm right!"

"The fuck you are!"

"Su-ure…!"

Shizuo turned away. "Bukkorosu." He muttered. "I need my fucking cigarettes, you asshat!" he opened a cupboard and looked back at Izaya. "…By the way, where d'you keep your bowls?" he asked.

"Left."

"Sit your ass down." Shizuo said, slamming a bowl full of stir-fry in front of Izaya at the table. He crossed his arms proudly as Izaya took a forkful. "Tell me that ain't better than Namie-san's."

"We-ell…" stretched Izaya.

"I fucking dare you."

Izaya looked up at Shizuo with a seemingly genuine smile. "…It's good!" he said as he chewed.

Somehow, Shizuo forgot about not letting his guard down. He must've either blushed or looked too pleasantly surprised (or both) because Izaya's cute smile turned into a decidedly not-cute grin. "…Maybe Namie-san's is better, though."

Leaning across the table, Shizuo grabbed Izaya by the front of his shirt and leaned in threateningly. "See here, you-" he began to growl, a vein throbbing in the side of his head.

Izaya's grin turned into a smirk and he leaned forward, standing up and brushing his lips against Shizuo's. "Have a taste…!" he chuckled.

At the brief contact with Izaya's soft lips, Shizuo's eyes widened and his cheeks flamed. He quickly let go of Izaya's shirt, jumping backwards, his hand over his mouth. " _WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU FUCKING FLEABAG?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TASTE IT THAT WAY?!_ " he roared. " _WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JUST DO A THING LIKE THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN! Y-YOU J-JUST…_ " he roared. "Y-you just _kissed_ me you damn hentai!"

"Don't tell me it was your first kiss!" giggled Izaya. "That would be _too_ perfect."

"The hell it was! I'm a grown-ass man! But-but the fact that it's _you_ , you dumbass, fleabag, stupid-ass, annoying-ass, fucking, fucking _dumbass fleabag_ makes it THAT MUCH WORSE!"

"I thought you were going to say 'that much more arousing'." Izaya shook his head with mock self-pity. "And the number of times you've said 'ass' is starting to worry me. You like it that much, huh?"

" _YOU'RE NOT AROUSING AT ALL!_ " yelled Shizuo, then covered his mouth.

There was a huff from the entrance of the kitchen. "Keep it down, you two, will you?" admonished Namie. "I can't work with you two flirting loudly like this."

" _I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH THIS FLEABAG!_ "

"Mmhmm…" said Namie, looking unimpressed. "Just be quiet."

Shizuo fell back into a chair, covering his face with his hand. "…Ugh." He said. "…Damn you, Izaya."

"Well, I'm glad that you're not yelling that I'm 'not arousing at all' across Tokyo." Izaya sighed. "That isn't very good for my reputation, you know."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Just saying." Soundlessly, Izaya stood up and walked over to Shizuo without him hearing. Then, still sneaking, he leaned over the debt-collector and pressed a quick kiss to his lips again.

Shizuo toppled backwards off of his chair. "W-what the _FUCK_?!" he yelled from the kitchen floor, rubbing at his mouth with the back of his hand – red as a tomato. " _Again_?!"

"Admit it, you liked it." Izaya laughed. "I was just testing this time." He said. "I wanted to see exactly how many kisses I could steal from you in five minutes and I've hit a world record!"

"That's not an Olympic sport!" exclaimed Shizuo. "The hell's wrong with you?!"

"Like I said before – a lot of things."

Shizuo growled, turning away from Izaya. "Make sure you don't do that again, otherwise I might go back on my promise and bash your head in."

"Su-ure."

"I need bug spray to keep pesky fleas away from me…!" muttered Shizuo. "Lots of bugspray."

Izaya smiled and began to eat again, watching Shizuo pace around the kitchen, muttering to himself. When he had finished, he smiled. "You know…" he said. "Namie-san is very thorough. Her cooking tastes exactly like it's supposed to, nothing more, nothing less."

Shizuo glanced over and stopped pacing, folding his arms over his chest. "Huh?"

Izaya continued, his genuine smile not wide, but happy. "Yours tastes good. I… Wouldn't mind eating your cooking more often. I want to get used to it."

Shizuo snorted, trying to be cool while extremely flustered. "…Is that a roundabout way of telling me to show up more often?" he cleared his throat and looked away. "…You're completely shameless."

"I know I am." Izaya smirked.


	11. Chapter 11

Party Time

Izaya was driving Shizuo insane, even when he wasn't there. When Shizuo had gotten home that evening (having gotten his stuff back from Izaya for no apparent reason, seemingly) he had sat on his balcony, smoking and thinking. It was obvious that Izaya was flirting with him – there was no subtlety there. But anyone could flirt – there did not have to be any feelings involved.

Had Izaya been sleeping when Shizuo impulsively kissed his forehead? Was he awake when he whispered ' _Shizuo_ ' and grabbed his sleeve to prevent him from leaving? Had he taken Shizuo's hand unwittingly in his sleep? When he kissed him - twice – was it all just a clever ploy to reel him further and further in? With Izaya it could've been anything.

Somehow, it didn't matter. Even if Izaya was planning to use it all against him, the fleeting moments that they spent together like that – Shizuo thought that it'd be worth it.

Because even if it was fake, the sound of his name falling from Izaya's lips was still sweet. Even if it was a ploy to build him up then take him out, the half-second that Izaya's lips pressed against Shizuo's was one of the best half-seconds of his life.

He fell asleep late, drinking a cold beer in front of the cheap TV. He wasn't really paying attention to the show that was playing, some comedy about two unsuited police detective partners – who were an estranged father and son. It had a pretty catchy intro. ' _Bitter Blood_ ', it was called. He drifted off to sleep…

 _...And Izaya was there._

 _They were on the roof of a high-rise building and the wind buffeted him. Izaya was standing on the edge, walking with his arms out, lifting his legs in exaggerated steps._

 _"Oi, Izaya, get down from there." He called._

 _"Worried?" smirked Izaya._

 _"Hell, yeah I am!" growled Shizuo. He stuck out his hand, waiting for Izaya to take it. "Get the fuck down from there!"_

 _Izaya pirouetted on the edge, laughing. "Come get me!"_

 _Shizuo clicked his tongue and leapt onto the edge. He did not dare look down. Even_ he _wouldn't survive if he fell from that height. "Come on, Izaya." He said. "Get your ass down and let's go home."_

 _A pair of red eyes narrowed. "Home?" his smirk widened. Then he reached out a hand towards Shizuo._

 _Shizuo grinned and took it, about to pull him off the edge, but suddenly he looked down and saw that while Izaya had taken his hand, he had buried his switchblade in Shizuo's chest. He tried to say something but couldn't. Izaya leaned in. "Don't be na_ _ï_ _ve, Shizu-chan. Home? You think I could be at home with a monster like you?" The blood spread across Shizuo's chest, staining his white bartender shirt._

 _The last thing he saw as he fell backwards into the swirling blackness below was Izaya laughing._

Shizuo awoke in a cold sweat, gasping, his hand automatically going to his chest where Izaya had stabbed him in the dream. Right in the heart. "Christ." He muttered to himself. "What wouldn't I give to have my old 'nightmares' back."

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After work, Shizuo visited Izaya's apartment again, loaded with groceries, his vest unbuttoned. When the black-haired informant opened the door, Shizuo barged in, stopping in the doorway only to take his shoes off. "'Scuse me." He muttered.

Izaya raised an eyebrow. "What's the occasion, Shizu-chan? Are you planning a party?"

"Tch. As if." He jabbed a thumb towards Izaya's fridge, then back at himself. "You're richer than anyone I know except for maybe Shinra – and yet you're eating like a broke college student. Ramen, Red Bull and spite." He made a face. "That shit's disgusting."

"And all this?" Izaya motioned towards the numerous plastic bags.

"This is your new food. You need nutrition, you skinny fleabag – and I'm gonna be the one to provide it." He took out a bundle of spring onions and a tomato. "See this?" he asked. "That's called a vegetable. This…" he pulled out a pound of pork from another bag. "Is meat. Protein. No wonder you're so skinny. You don't eat properly."

Izaya smirked. "How sweet of you."

Shizuo clicked his tongue. "Yeah, right. If you have bad nutrition then your bones won't heal. I'm just speeding things up so that I can kill you quicker."

"Ah, how could I forget." Izaya laughed. "Are you cooking again?"

"Yeah, unless your precious Name-ojou's got a problem with that." Shizuo said, beginning to stock up the fridge. "I'ma fry up some pork, make a salad or something. You get your skinny fleabag ass back to whatever you're doing and don't get in my way." he pulled out a twelve-pack of beer. "This wasn't here yesterday. Are _you_ planning a party?"

"Nobody would turn up." Izaya said. "I'm not exactly popular, as you would know well."

Something in Shizuo's chest twinged. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna throw one for you, dumbass."

"Oh really?" Izaya leaned back against the counter. "And who would you invite?"

"Myself. You. Some food. The beer. You could call Shinra or something." Shizuo said distractedly, packing things away. He shut the fridge and turned to Izaya. "Now shoo. I'm cooking."

Izaya smiled. "Hai-ha-ai!" he sang. "I'll be upstairs on the phone!" he called. "If anyone knocks, just sit them down on the couch and tell them I'll be there in a minute!"

"Oi, what am I? Your housekeeper?" Shizuo complained under his breath.

Someone did indeed knock, or ring the doorbell, just as Shizuo had put the pork on to fry. Sizzling frying pan in his hand, he opened the door, cigarette between his teeth. "The fleabag'll be with ya in a mo'. Please go sit yourself down on the couch." He said. Then he blinked. It was Shiki Haruya of the Awakusu-kai and a few other men. "Oh, uh, good evening, Shiki-san."

If Shiki was surprised to see his informant's arch-enemy open the door, he showed it for only a moment. "I see. Thank you." He said, motioning for the men to stay behind the door. As he sat down on the couch, Shizuo called up to Izaya that ' _oi, Shiki-san's here_ '. Izaya said he would be right there and ended his call quickly.

Shizuo went back to frying pork, laying thin strips onto the sizzling oil, waiting for them to turn golden-brown, then flipping them deftly with the unbroken spatula. Shiki and Izaya were talking on the couch and Shizuo caught Shiki glance at him then say something to Izaya, who laughed long and loud.

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

"Ah!" Izaya sighed as he began to stuff his face. "You're such a brute but you _do_ know how to cook!" he shook his head. "Uma-ai!"

Shizuo grinned. "Tastes better than expired cup noodles, and your Namie-ojou's cookin' doesn't it?"

Izaya rolled his eyes. Honestly, the brute had such a one-track mind. It _was_ cute to see him jealous though, Izaya could admit. Maybe he should tease him a little. "Namie-san isn't going to be here for the next week or so. She's caught a bad cold." He deviously smirked as he ate some more. "Maybe I should visit her with some get-well presents, what do you think, Shizu-chan?"

"Ain't any of my business." Gruffly said he. "Do whatever the hell you want."

"O-oh? So what should I get her?" Izaya teased. "Maybe some chocolates… A bouquet of roses… Maybe I should ask her out when she gets better – or in Shizu-chan speak – tell her I'll kill her when she gets better."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "As if I'd want to take you out on a date. I wouldn't go on a date with you if you were the last guy alive on earth." He crossed his arms. "You shouldn't get her chocolate. Sugar's bad for a sore throat. And if she has any pollen allergies, flowers'll make her cold even worse. Get her cough medicine or some shit. Why d'you care anyway?"

Izaya laughed. "You know, I used to always think – ' _oh, Shizu-chan never does what I expect him to_ ' but now, I think, ' _oh, Shizu-chan, how predictable_ '."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Shizuo adjusted his sunglasses.

"I don't know." Izaya said truthfully. "It may mean things could get boring or… Things could get _very_ interesting. We'll just have to wait and see, ne?"

Shizuo laughed a little. "What the hell does that even mean, huh, Izaya?" he stood up and stretched and Izaya noticed that his shirt's bottom button was undone and that when his arms went up over his head, some skin showed. "I'm gonna be on the couch. Bring the beers when you're done eating and we can party."

" _Party_?" Izaya asked. "What kind of a party would it be with just the two of us?"

"Ah – honestly – this guy." Muttered Shizuo. "We're just gonna get slightly drunk and maybe watch soccer on TV. If you have a radio, we can play music on that or some shit. You can call Shinra and Celty up if you want."

"Oh no!" sang Izaya. "That would ruin my precious alone-time with Shizu-chan!"

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you, Izaya? Don't fuckin' make this weird!"

**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**

Apparently, Shizuo's idea of slightly drunk, was not, in fact, slight. Opening his eighth (or ninth) beer, Shizuo watched the soccer blearily. Izaya, on the other hand, had not touched his beer. Shizuo thought that if he got slightly drunk, he could just feel like he was hanging out with any other guy. But after his fourth beer, he knew that was not going to happen. It actually seemed that with every beer, Izaya grew more and more distracting.

The soccer was not half as interesting as Izaya. Izaya had nicer legs, nicer face, real nice eyes… "Oi, Izaya." Shizuo slurred his speech only very slightly.

"What?" Asked Izaya.

"Sorry I drank all your beer." He muttered. "I left you, like…" he did some mental math. "Four. Actually…" he said, crushing the beer can and opening another. "Make that three."

Izaya laughed. "You know, for someone who suggested soccer, you don't seem very interested in it."

"'Cuz there's something more interesting sitting next to me." Muttered Shizuo. "You asshole." He added.

Snorting, Izaya shook his head. "What a flirt you are, Shizu-chan." He pretend punched Shizuo's shoulder.

"Not flirtin'. Just stating the facts. Dumbass." Shizuo grunted. "Ah, damn, my foot fell asleep." He stood up and began to pace, in a wobbly way, then sat down again.

Izaya moved closer to Shizuo on the couch. "You know, Shizu-chan, I don't know why you try to hide your very obvious feelings for me, even though you know I know."

Shizuo turned to Izaya tiredly smiling. "Too many words for me, fleabag. I'm just a protozoan, remember?" there was a slight silence, during which someone scored a goal and the TV erupted with tinny cheering. "Y'know, Izaya…" Shizuo finally said. "I had a dream, last night. 'Bout you." He took a swig of beer. "There was this super tall building. And you were on the edge, but you wouldn't come down. And then I was about to get you off and you took my hand… But you stabbed me – at the same time. And then I fell of and you were laughing."

"Really?" Izaya asked.

"Yeah." Shizuo said. "…It's like a metaphor, y'know? Like, if I trust too much, try to help too much, I'll end up getting screwed over."

His head now resting on Shizuo's shoulder, Izaya did not want to meet the ex-bartender's eyes. "Do you trust me, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo's chest rose and fell in a sigh, but he didn't answer the question. Instead, he chuckled softly. "You're real warm, you know? Like an Izaya-shaped radiator."

"At this point, 'do you trust me' isn't the question, though is it. What do you mean by 'screw over', hm, Shizu-chan? You don't think you mean – 'screw me'?"

"…Like… Sex…?" asked Shizuo blearily. "Dude… Just stop _talking_ already…"

Izaya snorted. "You are de-ense, ne, Shizu-chan?"

"I just wonder…" Shizuo said with a sigh. "Why're you always doing stuff like that? Flirting and kissing and shit…" he leaned his head back and shut his eyes. "You're driving me insane, Izaya. Fucking crazy."

Izaya shrugged and slipped down onto the floor from the couch. "Because I want to." He said. "Even though you're a brute, there's something weirdly human about you. And it's either horribly disgusting, or really drawing me to you."

Shizuo laughed, taking another massive swig of beer and crumpling the can up. "You really know how to compliment a guy."

Izaya smirked, leaning his forearms on Shizuo's knees and looking up at him. "I know how to do much more than compliment a guy." He said suggestively. "I could drive you even more crazy, if you wanted."

"Yeah, you can do a hell of a lot more than compliment." Shizuo agreed. "You know how to type ridiculously fast, talk Russian, stab people…" he sighed again. "And don't worry. You can drive me crazy without meaning to, either."

Izaya leaned forward and pressed his lips to the small patch of skin visible above his belt, where Shizuo's bottom button was not buttoned. "Why is it that when I want to say something sexual, you never understand?" Izaya sighed, and the warm breath on Shizuo's lower abdomen gave him a strange shiver.

Shizuo's breath hitched as Izaya repeated the action. "Oi, Izaya…"

Smirking, Izaya began to draw patterns with his nails on the stretched fabric of Shizuo's pants over his thighs, moving higher and higher. "Ye-es?" he asked slowly. "What's up, Shizu-chan?"

About to open his mouth to say something, Shizuo's mind went blank – and what came out of his mouth was a breathless groan. Izaya had palmed his crotch through his pants, beginning to rub. "…Izaya…" His pants uncomfortably tight, he was about to say something again, but Izaya was undoing his belt, then unzipping his pants and pulling down the front of his boxers…

Izaya laughed a little. "Oh, just from this and you're so aroused…" he looked up at Shizuo. "Didn't you say something about me being, ' _not arousing at all_ '? Your body doesn't lie, unlike your mouth." He began to tease, sliding his tongue up and down, looking up at Shizuo.

It could've been the alcohol. It could've been the suddenness. But Shizuo knew – the reason he was so stirred was because it was Izaya that was doing this to him. Because Izaya was smirking and running his tongue teasingly over his length, making eye contact. Shizuo's breath was uneven and labored, his breaths occasionally laden with groans. He was so hard it was painful.

Then Izaya took him entirely into his mouth, the hot warmth eliciting a deep, loud moan from Shizuo. "Ah-Fuck-! Izaya…!" His fingers dug into the armrest of the couch, the cloth ripping and the stuffing doing nothing to stop him from warping the metal frame. He pressed the back of his other hand, curled into a fist, against his mouth to stop himself from making any more sounds as his head snapped back, sinking his teeth in.

Izaya smirked around him and slowly began to move back, tightening his lips as he went, until only the tip was in his mouth. He began to suck, his lips still so tight – and Shizuo couldn't keep himself quiet. "Ah! Oh god…! Fuck! I-Izaya…!" The armrest snapped as his hand tightened around it, trying to desperately anchor himself against the wave of pleasure. Izaya hummed, moving his head back and forth, looking up at Shizuo with mischievous eyes.

His mind went blank and he could barely remember what was happening through the fog. He came, yelling for Izaya, ripping the armrest from the couch.


End file.
